My senior year of high school, January 30th, I was raped. I won't tell you his name, because that isn't important. I won't tell you details, because neither are those.

I will tell you that after it happened I stumbled down the stairs, tears flooding down my face as I tried to find the keys to the truck I drove in high school.

I will tell you about the snow falling from the sky and how I tried to turn the heat up enough to feel my fingers, but I couldn't feel anything except the weight of him on top of me. I will tell you how I sat in the shower every day until my entire body was burnt red and how I scrubbed my skin raw until it hurt so bad I cried.

I will tell you how I didn't tell a soul, except for one sweet friend of mine who was meant to pick up her phone when I called her. I told my best friend after a while and another close friend of mine a while after that. I didn't tell my parents until just recently. I have never told the police.

I will tell you that it took months to wash the clothes I was wearing that night, that I hid in a bag behind my dresser. That it took months to be able to look at him and not end up crying in the bathroom. That over time I was able to look at myself in the mirror and not cringe at the person looking back at me.

I will tell you that now, I am stronger.

Now, I am four years older and four years into putting myself back together. Four years ago part of me was stolen by a boy who thought that what was mine, was also his. Paying no mind to anything except his wants, that part of me was taken, now gone forever. I used to think that it was my fault, that I did something, said something, anything, to give him the notion that that was what I wanted.

I now tell myself that is not the case. It never was and it never will be.

And now I will tell you. I will forever be a believer in God's plan, His grace, and His will in my life. This is one of those things that took me a long time to understand the why behind it. Why me? Why would anything like this happen to anyone? But God had a plan for me, He always has and He always will.

I truly believe I am stronger. I am the person I am today because of what I went through. I am older, smarter, and braver. I don't need fixing. I put myself back together with the help of those I love more than anything. Thank you to the ones who held onto my story, who kept it safe and who never questioned my reasoning or logic. Thank you for holding me and for your constant reassurance that I would one day be okay.

That day is here, and you were right, I am okay. I am stronger.