If you're anything like me, then you're a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We are pleasantly surprised and equally appreciative of the coincidences that lend us a helping hand or bring us a new opportunity. Hard times though, often make us question the good in a world that seems all too full of heartbreak, tragedy and crime. We wonder "why me" or "why now" after unfathomable hardships, but can be struck by awe the events we sometimes refer to as coincidence or miracle.
Since graduating from high school, I've realized how powerful our actions are in determining the fate of our lives. From where we live, to who we know, to what we learn, our experiences everyday shape the paths of our lives. Surely we have all heard at least one incredible tale that illuminates the powerful connection between time and place. Some encounters are purposeful, while others are brief or accidental. But more recently, I have begun questioning the relevance of "accidents" or "mistakes" in our lives. Can anything truly be considered an accident in a world that is ruled by natural order?
I lost my grandmother in November of 2013, just days before Thanksgiving of my senior year of high school. It was my mother who found her; she had passed peacefully in her sleep one morning when she went to visit with coffee and donuts for breakfast. Neither my siblings or I had decided to accompany her that day and though devastating, my mom recalls to me how incredibly blessed she was to share her final moments with her mother in solitude. The strange thing is, a number of different people would refer to this happening differently; a coincidence, a tragedy, a miracle.
About six months after her passing, I got a tattoo of a blue butterfly to memorialize my grandma, a meaningful addition to a larger tattoo that I have to symbolize my family. During that summer, my family and I shared our first 4th of July at what was my grandma's beach house, without her. I happened to sleep in her old room that weekend and can vividly remember having dreams of blue butterflies and of her. At the time, I deemed it coincidence. When I returned home to Connecticut though, I realized there were greater forces at work. I had gone outside with my dog into the gated area around our pool when I noticed something strange. I approached what looked like a piece of trash, wondering how it could've ended up there. We had been gone the entire weekend and the gate had been locked. I bent down and picked up what turned out to be a 4th of July sparkler, fully in tact. Feeling uneasy, I called my dog and went inside to throw it out. Before tossing it though, I gave the foreign object one last close look. At that moment, my heart sank. I felt my legs quiver underneath me, and I fell to my knees as I read "The Butterfly Firecracker" across the label. I couldn't control my tears. Tiny blue butterflies danced around the words.
My entire life changed after that moment as well as my outlook. I knew that nothing about this had been coincidence; my tattoo, the dreams, and now this incredible gift. This was a miracle, and this was my fate.
I realize that by publishing this article I am implying faith by alluding to what I believe to be a higher power. This is not in an attempt to push my religious views on you or to imply that having other beliefs is wrong. I merely believe that this experience has been a gift, and being a contributor to the Odyssey is my opportunity to share it. A series of events have lead me to this moment, some tragic, some unexplainable.
Moreover, I have come to understand that we as human beings have little control in determining the fate of our own lives. Surely, we can act on our own impulses, but we cannot account for those of others' or for the natural order of the world. We must make the best decisions for ourselves in moments of choosing and be accepting of the outcome no matter how hard that may be. All of the changes, accomplishments and even mistakes that make up our lives have lead us to where we are now. Appreciate that your fate has brought you this far and try to surrender yourself to the things you cannot control. Life is too short to harp on the past or to believe that coincidences really happen for no reason.
