There's Nothing Fabulous About My Big Fat Fabulous Life

There's Nothing Fabulous About My Big Fat Fabulous Life

I am not fat shaming, I am speaking the truth.

I usually don't complain about famous people, but this is just one time when I can't keep my mouth shut. I have been watching Whitney Way Thore on TLC's My Big Fat Fabulous Life since the first day it aired. I remember seeing her video of her hip hopping that went viral. At first, I was really connected to Whitney and proud of her. I, myself, have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome too. I also have a strong passion for dance and have never let my weight get in the way of that. I have felt the same struggles that she has with people judging her, or feeling inadequate because of my weight. I also connected with Whitney when I saw the type of the relationship her and her mom have. My mother and I are extremely close. Whitney's personality also seemed to resemble mine. However, the more I watched the show, the more I noticed something.

Whitney uses her PCOS and weight as an excuse for everything. She can't lose weight because of PCOS. She just gains weight because of PCOS. While it is true it is hard to lose weight with PCOS, it is possible. When women with PCOS are dieting and have a cheat day, it is equivalent to someone without PCOS having three. This makes losing weight extremely hard and disheartening. I can't tell you how many times I have worked out for days upon days and ate healthy and still not lost any weight, or even gain weight. But that's where Whitney and I are different.

You see, I watch what I eat. I exercise often. She might exercise by dancing, but that means nothing if you are going to continue to eat whatever you want. PCOS is not a free pass to just be overweight. It drives me absolutely insane when she blames her weight problems on PCOS. I have it to. The fact that she allowed herself to gain 100 lbs. her freshman year of college is ridiculous. I am appalled that I gain 7 lbs.

I could just say screw it and eat whatever I want too, but I don't. Instead, I meal prep. I make time to go to the gym and push myself. I eat a salad at least once a day. I count calories. I make an effort. Am I perfect? God, no. Do I slip up? Abso-freaking-lutely. But do I let that be my life style? No. Am I happy with where I am at? Not at all. But I am trying.

The human body isn't meant to carry around an excessive amount of weight. Inside of me is a girl that wants a healthy BMI, and I won't stop until I get her out. Now, I am glad Whitney spreads body positivity, really, I am. But you have to be healthy too. You can tell me you are healthy all you want. Sure, you don't have diabetes. Sure you don't have any co-morbidities....yet. I don't either. I like to refer to myself as the fittest fat person you will ever meet. But really Whitney, there is nothing fabulous about being overweight. Not being able to have full range of your own body is frustrating. Shopping in the plus size section is extremely annoying. Having people make rude remarks to you hurts. You can't deny me any of that. So, please, do me and yourself a favor and quit hiding behind the PCOS.

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.

Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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Take The Time To Pronounce Names Correctly, They Mean A Lot

What's in a name? Plenty.


Names are often one of the first labels we get. It often makes us who we are and is deeply embedded in our sense of self. It's the word the world knows you as. Many people change their names to make them feel more like themselves. This speaks volumes to the effect a name has on you.

A name is a word like any other, just used to label someone. Like any other word, saying the word properly is important, especially because it is tied so closely to someone's sense of self.

Butchering someone's name consistently is simply unacceptable. Sure some names may be harder to pronounce and may seem unnatural but not trying is not okay. If you can get names like Stravinsky and Chmerkovskiy, a Nandini, Radhika, or Namrata shouldn't be too hard.

For some reason, it often seems like people have a hard time pronouncing names of people of color, which honestly seems a little odd to me considering many caucasian names are just as unconventional.

Comedian Hasan Minhaj recently appeared on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and addressed this issue. He pointed out that no one has an issue with the name Ansel Elgort, but they seem to have an issue with his name. Later, he joked that he goes by the name Timothée Chalamet at Starbucks, which they can handle just fine.

Mistakes are okay. We're all human and you're not expected to get everything correct on the first try. But simply accepting that you can't say it and not making an effort is disrespectful.

You don't need to say the name in the accent of the culture it's from. Say it in your accent but like any other word, keep the same number of syllables and put an emphasis on the correct vowels. Eventually, getting it will expand your horizons just a little bit more. Either way, trying is better than not trying.

That being said, to the people that need to correct others' pronunciation on their name, do it. If you don't tell people how to pronounce it, you can't expect them to get it properly. Many of us introduce ourselves with a name that isn't truly ours; it's a version that accommodates others.

Remember though, there is no shame in your beautiful, unique name so there is no need to anglicize it. Your parents didn't give you that name for it to fit better in other people's mouths.

Our names make up a large part of our basic identity and getting it right is beneficial for everyone.

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