There's Nothing Fabulous About My Big Fat Fabulous Life

There's Nothing Fabulous About My Big Fat Fabulous Life

I am not fat shaming, I am speaking the truth.

I usually don't complain about famous people, but this is just one time when I can't keep my mouth shut. I have been watching Whitney Way Thore on TLC's My Big Fat Fabulous Life since the first day it aired. I remember seeing her video of her hip hopping that went viral. At first, I was really connected to Whitney and proud of her. I, myself, have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome too. I also have a strong passion for dance and have never let my weight get in the way of that. I have felt the same struggles that she has with people judging her, or feeling inadequate because of my weight. I also connected with Whitney when I saw the type of the relationship her and her mom have. My mother and I are extremely close. Whitney's personality also seemed to resemble mine. However, the more I watched the show, the more I noticed something.

Whitney uses her PCOS and weight as an excuse for everything. She can't lose weight because of PCOS. She just gains weight because of PCOS. While it is true it is hard to lose weight with PCOS, it is possible. When women with PCOS are dieting and have a cheat day, it is equivalent to someone without PCOS having three. This makes losing weight extremely hard and disheartening. I can't tell you how many times I have worked out for days upon days and ate healthy and still not lost any weight, or even gain weight. But that's where Whitney and I are different.

You see, I watch what I eat. I exercise often. She might exercise by dancing, but that means nothing if you are going to continue to eat whatever you want. PCOS is not a free pass to just be overweight. It drives me absolutely insane when she blames her weight problems on PCOS. I have it to. The fact that she allowed herself to gain 100 lbs. her freshman year of college is ridiculous. I am appalled that I gain 7 lbs.

I could just say screw it and eat whatever I want too, but I don't. Instead, I meal prep. I make time to go to the gym and push myself. I eat a salad at least once a day. I count calories. I make an effort. Am I perfect? God, no. Do I slip up? Abso-freaking-lutely. But do I let that be my life style? No. Am I happy with where I am at? Not at all. But I am trying.

The human body isn't meant to carry around an excessive amount of weight. Inside of me is a girl that wants a healthy BMI, and I won't stop until I get her out. Now, I am glad Whitney spreads body positivity, really, I am. But you have to be healthy too. You can tell me you are healthy all you want. Sure, you don't have diabetes. Sure you don't have any co-morbidities....yet. I don't either. I like to refer to myself as the fittest fat person you will ever meet. But really Whitney, there is nothing fabulous about being overweight. Not being able to have full range of your own body is frustrating. Shopping in the plus size section is extremely annoying. Having people make rude remarks to you hurts. You can't deny me any of that. So, please, do me and yourself a favor and quit hiding behind the PCOS.

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When You're With The Right Guy, He'll Take The Time To Learn About Your Mental Illness, Trust Me

If he wants to make it work and really loves you, he'll learn all of your ins and outs.


My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. The journey we've been on to get to where we are now has been one of the scariest and most fun roller coasters I've ever been on.

My mental health has come in the way of a lot of relationships, both romantic and platonic. I've never quite been able to find a way to master explaining it to people. And I still haven't. Explaining what can happen in your head, when you can barely explain it to yourself is a very difficult and often heart wrenching task.

When I had started dating my boyfriend, I was scared to tell him about my mental health. While I have gained a lot of confidence and it isn't nearly as severe as it was years ago, I know how it can get when "one of those days" comes. I know how scary I can get when I fall into a panic attack. I know how hard it can be to look at someone you love while they have a tear stained face unable to tell you what's wrong.

In the past I've tried two different things. One being that I wouldn't tell them at all and I would try to go day by day like I didn't have this cloud above my head. Once they'd see what I can get like, they'd leave. They "couldn't handle the amount of work I needed" or they felt burdened by being with me. Some would even say they "love me too much to put themselves through seeing me like that."

The other option I tried was putting it all out on the table. I had tried that once. I had told my most recent ex boyfriend everything. I laid it all out on the line, hoping that it would be different. At first, it was. He was comforting and understanding. Until it got to a point where he was using what I told him against me.

He knew my weak points. He knew what would hit the hardest and he was good at what he was doing.

It wasn't until my current boyfriend that I realized that isn't how love should be.

He could tell from the beginning that there were missing puzzle pieces. There were walls that I had build around me that I wasn't about to let just anyone knock down. At first, I found his pestering quite rude. Until he proved his point. He had come to me one night and said he wanted me to tell him everything. No details left behind.

I kind of sat there with my mouth open. I actually tried to pretend as if I didn't know what he was talking about. Within minutes, I was spilling everything. Every crevice I could have touched base on, I did. While I thought he was going to look shocked, scared, or bored even.

He didn't.

He was looking deep into my eyes the whole time. He never broke eye contact with me. He was focused and didn't say anything, just nodded his head. After I was finished and the tears were falling, he held me in an embrace and the only words he could mutter was, "You are so beautiful and one of the strongest people I know. You will get stronger. I promise."

He's taken the time to learn everything. He's watched psychologist's lectures, he's read articles. He's done everything in his power to learn what I need on my dark times. He honestly has gotten to know me so well, I think he knows me better than I know myself.

Not only has it helped our relationship as a whole, but it's helped me learn about myself in a way that I couldn't quite do on my own. He's offered me a kind of love that I've never had before. One where I don't have to fear rejection or getting left behind.

Ladies, if he's the right guy, he'll do whatever it takes to make sure that you have exactly what you need. Not just physically but mentally as well. My guy knows the days where, I could just really use a good cry and being held for 20 minutes. He also knows when I need reassurance.

A guy that truly loves you will learn these things about you. He won't ignore you, he won't brush it off and say "you'll be fine."

Take my word on it, that's the guy you'll want to marry someday.

I know I do.

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