The Myers & Briggs Type Indicator is a (creepily accurate) psychological quiz that can change the way we think about ourselves and others. Created by mother-daughter duo Katharine Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, the introspective quiz is based off famous psychologist Carl Jung’s "Theory of Psychological Types." The two women expanded upon his idea to create an exam that told people their innate traits based on a four-letter naming model. This short questionnaire can be found on 16personalities.com, where they provide you with various in-depth analyses on parts of your life such as friendships, relationships, or what you’ll be like as a parent.
When I got my results, I started to think of my friends - they're all incredibly different. As I looked around the internet for more information, I noticed some websites mentioned some personalities having higher compatibility rates than others. Perplexed, I asked my friends to take the quiz so I could further assess the differences and, as expected, we were all pretty different. We're all so close - there's no way we could not be compatible, right? I decided to read into each personality (aka each friend) and what I came out with surprised me.
To start off, I am INFJ, or "the advocate." Making up less than 1% of the population, it is the rarest type. We are soft-spoken, opinionated, strong-willed, and can easily read other people. Our strengths include our creativity, insightfulness, and our determined, altruistic nature. Our weaknesses involve us being sensitive, immensely private, showing little emotion, and we tend to be perfectionists. In terms of friendships, INFJs crave authenticity - we need friendships that help us flourish. We have a talent for seeing past peoples falsehoods and tend to interpret dissimilarities as possible limitations in friendship. It's important for INFJs to remember they are uncommon, so chances are they'll never find someone just like them. They must learn to meet people halfway in order to be truly be happy.
The friends who make you laugh until you cry are most likely ENFP like my sister, Ryan, and friend, Taylor. "The campaigners" are also rare, making up 7% of the population. They're hysterical and fun loving, which make them practically irresistible. ENFPs do everything with liveliness to it. This, paired with their incredible ability to communicate, makes them the best type of friend to goof off with. Aside from being the popular life-of-the-party, they also know how to unwind and take time to do nothing for a while. They tend to have difficulty concentrating and lean towards being independent despite any circumstance, which can cause over thinking, stress, and in turn create overly emotional reactions. Despite this, ENFPs bounce back easily. They deeply value their friends for who they are and never try to change them.
A trustworthy friend is an ISFJ friend. My friends Patrick and Karly share this personality type. They're the ones I relate to most, so it also came as no surprise that we're different by only one letter. ISFJs, "the defenders," make up a large portion of the population (13%) and are known for their kindness and protective nature. Their strong suits are their supportiveness and loyalty, which make them incredible friends. However, they are very shy, which often leads to them underplaying their own amazing qualities. They often take things very personally, dislike change, and repress their emotions quite a bit. All in all, they are true gems. They are warm but picky with friends; meaning, they don’t find their friends randomly. They base their friends on the consistency they have in their life. ISFJs cherish their friends for their quality of character over anything else.
Have a friend like Monica Gellar from "Friends"? Chances are they are "the consuls," or ESFJ, like my friend Sydney. It's a very common personality type (12%) and is often associated with the word "popular." ESFJs are inquisitive about their friends because they genuinely want to be – not because they feel they have to be. They have amazing work ethic and pride themselves in it. They also stand by their friends no matter what, but are sometimes too selfless. ESFJs often forget that not everyone is like them, which gives them a hard time understanding others, often making them inflexible and reluctant to improvise. They take criticism very hard but this helps when discussing passions and motivations with other friends because they will always try to support their friends. All in all, ESFJs are sincere to a fault and always remain loyal.
The last, but certainly not least, is "the entertainer." ESFPs are 11% of the population of people who love the spotlight. Kayla, who is ESFP, is known as the one who lives in the moment and wants everyone to feel that way too. In a sense, they are actors who enjoy putting on a show. They desire laughter and action, but tend to selfish and easily bored. If they aren't constantly stimulated, they find themselves running off to the next thing, which lands them with poor planning skills. However, do not try to lecture ESFPs because chances are, they will ignore you completely. But deep down, ESFPs care deeply about their friends and are sensitive, despite having a hard time dealing with confrontation.
How different are we? Almost entirely. We handle tasks differently, how we perceive things is contrasting, and how we act in general is, for lack of a better word, incompatible. In terms of my personality type, I should only get along with people who are like me. The truth is, I couldn’t imagine that - and not just because the chances of me meeting another INFJ are slim to none. Each one of my friends is important to me in special ways because of their differences. My ENFPs are my fun-loving counterparts who always keep me laughing. My ISFJs are my reliable trustees who keep me calm. My ESFJ is generous and someone I can count on no matter what. My ESFP helps break me out of my shell and helps me live a little.
I shouldn't have to compromise in order to be happy; in fact, I refuse. When it comes to friendships, it's important to throw personality quizzes out the window. There's no such thing as having "high compatibility" with someone. What matters is that your friends respect you for who you are - differences and all.
