“Becca said what about me? She thinks she has the right to say that when she has done ___ and ___? Well, just wait till her friends hear about what she did last week.”

Sound familiar? As silly as it sounds, this situation has happened to me countless times. Whether it is gossip, a bad break up, a roommate situation, or a bad co-worker. No matter how small or big it is, things affect everyone. Now, how should you stay above situations when others may be constantly trying to bring us down?

This is something that has been a struggle for as long as I can remember. Whether you are a freshman in high school or college, drama is everywhere. The key is not letting it get to you. My dad always told me the best thing you can do in a situation is stay above it. Well, for someone who loves control and taking charge, this is one of the hardest things for me to do. Let me tell you, not letting things get to you or control your life can be so freeing. But boy oh boy, this is not as easy to do as it sounds, don’t get me wrong! Is it really the best option for every situation? Maybe! I am not here to tell you this is going to work for every situation. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, but also sometimes it’s not best to cave into one-upping a person. Here are some ways that have worked best for me:

1. “Don’t add flame to the fire.”

This simply means not doing to others what they do to you. Most of the time this gets the situation nowhere. Not saying something hurtful back when someone hurts you. This is exactly what not adding flame to the fire is all about. This also includes not gossiping about that person to your friends. Personally, this is one of the hardest things for me to practice. It takes much self-control and maturity. It may be something you struggle with; I know it is for me.

2. Don’t let it take over and remain joyful.

Remain what? Some days after a long exhausting day, the last thing I feel like being is joyful about a situation. The situation may cause you to feel like it’s never going to end. Well, by trying to be above a situation, it helps it to not take over your life. In my life, this happens too often. Whatever I am going through starts to control my thoughts and consume me. For me as a Christian, focusing on God helps keep my focus on the things that matter and will last. Whatever is happening is not going to last forever.

3. Forgive.

This is the last thing I have to say. In life, it is simple to just apologize half-heartedly. We need to forgive with our whole heart all the time, in every situation. It has become so easy to just say the words. I challenge you to forgive the person who has hurt you. That doesn’t always mean letting them back into your life but it does mean not letting your hurt control you. Truly forgive them in your heart, with your whole heart. It is so important to let go of the hurt and grudge you may have. Bitterness doesn’t just appear one day, it’s something that grows. When you let anger and unforgiveness dwell, it develops into bitterness. Once you do let go and forgive, wow, what an effect it can have on everything you do.

Well, I am praying for you. Whoever you are and whatever you are going through, know that drama is not forever. You are a beautiful, amazing person and don’t let other crush your amazing being. Have an amazing freshman year, you can do it!