A lot of people might feel like there's a negative association surrounding the idea of questioning their sexuality or gender. Popular media has created the idea that experimenting with your sexuality is something that sexually promiscuous girls do during college, and boys? Forget it! Men are supposed to be manly and only date women! Right?
Wrong! The only person who can decide what your gender and sexuality are is you and you have the freedom to explore that.
Some people worry that experimenting with their gender or sexuality will set them on a permanent path, but that will not happen. You can decide that it isn't for you at any time, and you're never required to even start trying. If you're curious you can try to find yourself, if you feel confident with yourself then there's no need to change or worry about changing too much.
Other people worry that they might be too old to start thinking about changes to their gender or sexuality but this is another myth. You're never too old to learn something new about yourself. Maybe you've lived your whole life until now a certain way, but that doesn't mean you have to keep living that way if it makes you unhappy. It's perfectly fine to start questioning after years of certainty.
Some ways to start figuring yourself out if you feel like maybe you might have a gender identity or sexuality that is different from the one you originally identified with is to get educated. Google some phrases you've heard, ask a queer friend or safe zone counselor, you can even find some books on the subject. Educating yourself is the first step towards figuring yourself out, giving yourself more terms and key words to use.
If you've already gone through these steps but are questioning yourself again, don't feel bad! Maybe one day you think you're bisexual but the next day you learn about pansexuality. Changing yourself is not a bad thing and learning about yourself is definitely good.
If you begin to identify a certain way and then later find it isn't for you, never fear. Don't feel like you've been lying and don't worry about being wrong, not everyone finds themselves on the first try. Life is full of adventures and experiments and mistakes and no one is going to blame you for having all three.
Remember that this is your life and you're free to define yourself however you feel most comfortable. Take your time to figure yourself out, and remember that no matter how you present yourself to the world you are loved and valued.
