My dad is amazing at puns. Don't believe me? Then just spend 5 minutes with him. Here are some of my Dad’s favorite hilarious sayings over the years. If you are having a bad day I hope this helps you through it:
“Tough titty said the kitty, but the milk was still good.”
This is by far my favorite quote by my father. Whenever I have complained he reminds me of this little ditty and I forget why I was even bitchy in the first place. My father is a great man, and I am the very definition of a “daddy’s girl”. I hope you find his bits of wisdom as helpful, hilarious, and insightful as I have.
“My parents never let me do a semester abroad, but I did do a broad a semester.”
My father is very proud of his quick wit; this quote came from a random discussion with our trainer one session. We once had a family contest on a trip of who could think of more puns during the rest of the time we were there. I lost. My dad won of course. Puns for him are like someone being able to speak a second language. I hope that when I am older and married I will be able to think up stuff as hilarious as he does for my children.
“You’ve got your ass in a butter tub.”
When I was younger my dad called me a “little shit pot”. I was so upset; I could not believe he would say such a thing to me. Now that I am older, that term is actually endearing. I know how extremely lucky and spoiled I am. My parents have provided me with above and beyond what they needed to, and I will always be tremendously grateful for it.
“Dad, dad! There’s a wasp in my room!” “How do you know he’s not catholic?”
I have always been terrified of bees. For some reason, bees seem to hate me too. They always find their way into my bedroom growing up and when I am outside they seem to follow. My dad is wonderful and has always killed that spider or bee that’s in the house terrorizing me. My mom always asks me what I will do when I am on my own. I say that I have no clue and will probably continue appreciating my dad killing bugs for me as long as I possibly can.
Thank you dad for these hysterical anecdotes. I hope you know how much they have stuck with me over the years and how funny my friends think you are. I am a very proud daughter who knows, even when I roll my eyes, that you are hilarious and one of a kind.
