On the list of hardest things I've been faced with, being asked to support a friend of mine (whom I know is in an abusive relationship) has always been one of them. Where and when is the appropriate place to draw the line when I know someone I love is being hurt and taken advantage of, even if they don't always think so?

I've been told so many times by these people that they just want my support, whether or not I think it's right, because that's what friends do, right? I used to believe things like this and offer my support because they were my friend. I'd hold my tongue because it "wasn't my place" and they, of course, can make their own decisions. However, when someone I love is being hurt in front of my face, it becomes my place to do something, rather than sitting back and watching that person I love get hurt time and time again. I will always support those that I love and care about, but truly supporting them means I cannot support something that is tearing them apart.

I can't accept allowing someone I love to be hurt, so please don't point fingers when I speak up and try to help them. I promise I'll keep enough distance as to not invade their own lives, but let me try to help them see the problems they might not see because of the ways they've been manipulated or taken advantage of; let me try to help them find a better way to real happiness, rather than "good days" that come every once in a while. I promise I'll be kind; I promise I'll continue trying to see things from their point of view; I promise I'll never stop loving and caring about them despite what they choose, but it's no longer in me to just sit back and watch.

Please understand that this isn't easy; no part of me wants to fight with someone I love about their relationship. Please understand that I'm doing this because I care and because I see too much in them to allow them to be hurt by someone who I know doesn't deserve them. Please don't tell me I'm a bad friend for not giving my blessing to someone I've seen verbally and physically abuse my loved one.

Please stop telling me that every relationship has problems and that real love hurts sometimes. Love shouldn't hurt. Love is not a battle; love is not settling; love is not hurt. Love is many things, but it is never abusive. Please stop telling me things will get better; that they'll change, or that it won't happen again, even when that's what you told me the last three times. Please see that it hurts me to know you're in pain, and although you might not agree or want it, please let me help.

My support will come from helping my friend escape their pain, rather than letting them succumb to the verbal or physical abuse from their partner. Speaking up to my friend in a clearly unhealthy relationship doesn't make me a bad person; the latter does. That's the easy way out- sitting back, holding your tongue, and believing things might get better the second, third, fourth, fifth time around. If I actually love someone, I refuse to let them suffer.

If speaking up and butting heads with my friend saves them from months, years, or a lifetime of hurt, then fine, sign me up. I won't sit back and let my friend settle for something that is so dangerously far from what they deserve. If I truly care about my loved one, I'll never sit back and watch them be hurt.

Many people in abusive and unhealthy relationships may not even realize what they're experiencing isn't okay because of the ways their partner has manipulated them or convinced them that they are the problem. If you suspect someone you know is in an abusive relationship, I encourage you to speak up. Notice the signs, and don't be afraid to ask them politely about their relationship. Stop it before it escalates. Lead them to the help they might need, but don't sit and watch because you've been told to believe that's what support looks like.

If you are or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please seek out help or call 1−800−799−7233.