Sometimes missing someone is entirely out of your control. You’re probably thinking, “Here’s another open letter that will go on and on about how much it hurts to miss someone.”

But, you couldn’t be more wrong.

I miss you.

Missing you doesn’t hurt. I don’t wonder about what could have been or what should have happened if you were here. I don’t spend my days rehearsing how our lives would be right now in my head. And neither should you. As far away as you are right now, I came to the conclusion that you’re following your dreams and I am following mine. For months I recited that stupid quote to myself: “If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it is yours forever, if it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” I told myself that this must be true until I woke up one day and realized that letting go of something or someone you love doesn’t mean that it was yours forever or that it was never meant to be. It doesn’t mean either of these things. It means that when something happens, it happens for a reason. And my reason for missing you isn’t because I let you go. My reason for missing you is because I didn’t let you go sooner. You have so much potential. You are capable of so many things and I feel like I held onto you for so long that I ruined our chances of working this out if you come back at some point. You had the world at your fingertips but you listened too much when I said, “Don’t go,” and so you didn’t, and I’m sorry. I guess I’m sorry for missing you so much. You were so afraid of how I would feel after you left that you let us drag everything out, which only ended up hurting us in the end.

I miss you.

But missing you doesn’t hurt. Missing you helps me feel something. Purpose. Determination. Reason. However I can describe the feeling of thinking of you while you are away, it makes me feel something and so, in a way, missing you is just another reason to love you. Loving you is just another reason to miss you. So, until you come back and there is no room left to miss you, I will enjoy your absence for what it is worth. Because you being gone only reminds me of how strongly I wish you were here. I would rather search for a silver lining and appreciate this situation for what it is instead of missing you in a way that would rip me apart.

I have come to find that situations in our life are solely determined by how we react to them. So, for now, I will miss you happily. I’ll see you soon.

Love,