It is uncommon to hear these three words in many Asian households, whether it be in English or in the mother tongue.
I remember that growing up, my friends would always say 'I love you' and mock a kiss when on the phone with their mom. Or their parents would drop them off at the bus stop and do the same. These three words followed by a kiss.
But the thing is, my mom would always tell me she loves me just like other parents do. And each time, I would just respond with a 'you too.'
Why is it so hard to say the complete sentence?
I receive texts from my friends saying 'love you' or more like 'ily'. And I never know how to respond. Don't think that I don't love my parents or my friends. However, the more we use 'I love you' in our daily lives, the more we become desensitized to it. And I hate the idea of these three words losing their value.
They say actions speak louder than words, anyway. So, would verbalizing love even matter?
Although I don't vocalize it enough, it matters so much. I hardly believe 'I love you' coming from friends, which might be because of my own insecurities. One time I was scrolling through Instagram feed and saw a video of someone's big/little reveal for their sorority. They all ran to each other hugging, screaming--and I mean, screaming-- and saying, 'omg I love you.'
It never made sense to me. These people just met and suddenly they act like they have known each other their whole lives. Although the whole sorority ordeal is a thing of its own, why are people so quick to say "I love you?" I've seen countless examples of people saying, "I love you," without meaning it. Sometimes jokingly.
I wish it felt more special when I heard it, but it doesn't. Are we becoming desensitized to it? Are we meant to say it as much as we do? Whether it's sent through a text-- three words, three letters, or purposely misspelled-- or said out loud -- slowly, quickly, or under a breath...what does it mean? What should it mean?
It's rooted culturally and religiously for many people, and that can be hard to grasp for others.
(Watch this BuzzFeed video.)
Some may think I see love in a naive way. But it is the exact opposite.
Love is shared between friends, family, partners. And I think love should be the same for all. They say 'love is love'. But what IS love?
I live by my own definition of love that comes from the Bible:
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
- John 15:13 (ESV)
Unconditional. Pure. That's what love is to me but what is love to you? Do you ever think about what love means when you tell someone "I love you"?
