I am shy. I'm the quiet girl in class who doesn't speak unless she's spoken to. I'm the one at work who sits to the side and laughs silently at all the jokes during lunch break, but is always too anxious to insert herself into a conversation. I stumble over words and blush when someone catches me off guard, and I very, very often come off as rude. I could go through my entire life and list out every person who has ever assumed I was rude, but then this article would be a seemingly never ending list of names and descriptions. So let's just settle with a lot and call it a day. I've been shy my whole life, and my whole life I've been put around people who take it the wrong way. So let me clarify once and for all, and for all the people like me, that I'm not a mean person. I just don't like talking to new people.

For as long as I can remember, I've been shy and rather introverted. I don't like big groups of people, I enjoy time to myself and I've always had a very small, close circle of friends. While I was in high school, this wasn't really a problem. I had known everyone in my classes since the fourth grade, and even if they weren't my friends, I didn't really have a problem making conversation with anyone. It was probably when I got my first real job that I realized how truly shy I was, and how people who aren't shy often make me out to be rude. I was hired at a restaurant as a hostess, a job which literally requires you to speak to every stranger that walks in the door. On top of that, every other person in the entire restaurant was remarkably outgoing and could not understand why I didn't walk into work the first day talking to everyone like they were my best friends.

I don't hate extroverted people, I really don't, but I do have an issue talking to very outgoing people. That problem being that I never know what to say. Whether the question is "Where are you from?" or "What's up?" I always feel at a loss for words. Where normal people would answer promptly or give a cheeky response, I stumble and claw over my words until I finally get out something somewhat coherent. However, plenty of people are nervous on their first day in a new place and take a minute to warm up. The difference between those people and me is that my shyness can persist for months or years.

While the first interaction with a new person might not define a relationship, the second, third and fourth ones do. Being unbearably shy, refusing to speak unless spoken to, and then only replying if the person speaking is asking a question often leaves a distinct impression of disdain. People who have tried and failed to form any sort of workplace friendship with me often eventually just write me off as pretentious or plain rude. So here's my apology.

I'm sorry that I don't talk or make conversation easily, it doesn't come as naturally to me as it does to you. I'm sorry that my quietness and reserved nature is off-putting, if I could be bubbly and charming I promise you I would, but I can't. I'm sorry that I seem rude, but I swear I'm just shy.

But here's the thing, I don't need to be ashamed. No one needs to be ashamed of being shy. For years I worried and worried over what people thought of me, and I eventually came to the conclusion that I just don't care. I've spent my life watching other people talk easily and make friends in minutes, and I've wanted to change myself. But the truth is, there's nothing wrong with me. I am who I am for a lot of reasons, but none of what I am is bad. Recently, I've even made some pretty good work friends, and I'm beyond thankful for them and how they persevered through my shyness to really get to know me. And trust me, if I can do it anyone can.

So if you, like me, were born shy, don't sweat it so much. People may think you're rude, and they might write you off on the first few tries, but the people who really count are the ones that understand and keep trying. Anyone who assumes you are a mean person just because you're quiet is not a friend you want to have anyway. You may think you're not reaching your full potential by being this way, but you are actually exactly who you're supposed to be.

Shy people make the best friends because they think so carefully about everything they say. They also form the most real relationships because it takes so much trust for them to open up to another person, and they always listen to whatever it is you have to say. We are incredibly observant, and we probably know what's wrong before you even tell us. So stay shy, stay quiet, stay proud, and don't let anyone pressure you into being a person you aren't comfortable being.