Not sure how many people will actually read this article, but it is something I thought I should put out there. I know it does not sound like it from the title, but this is actually a pretty personal topic for me. So, here goes nothing. Hopefully if you have read this far you will continue to reading -- and hopefully just maybe there is somebody out there that will read this because they truly can relate.

I am a water or beach person as many of my friends are. Yes, I know how to swim. That is usually the first question people ask me, so I wanted to clarify that right away. However, I did not grow up going to the pool or the beach often. I do plan on teaching my child to swim at a somewhat young age, mostly because I do not want them to ever be ridiculed or feel left out because they cannot. I have never been on a swim team. When summer comes around, I am not planning a beach trip or factoring pool time into my schedule. If my friends want to go, I will usually go with them, but it is definitely not my first choice of activity. I have absolutely nothing against anyone who loves the beach or going to pools.

Over the years, I have tried to become more and more OK with pools and beaches. There was a time where I would not go past 5 feet in the pool, because I could not stand up. I can probably count on one hand how many times I have jumped off a diving board. My first time on a boat was just two years ago, when I was 19. I have never been scuba diving or even "actually" swum in the ocean. I have swum in a lake, but if I am going to be in either, I usually want some kind of raft to float on rather than actually being in the water. At this point, you are probably like, why? So, here is my answer:

I am somewhat of a control freak. I like to be in water where I can touch the bottom because it makes me feel like I can control what happens to me. I almost drowned when I was at summer camp when I was about 14. I was canoeing and some of the other kids thought it would be funny if they flipped my canoe. So, as I went plummeting into the water, I found myself reaching out trying to grab anything and gasping for breath. And it was in this moment that even though I did know how to swim, actually putting those skills into action did not happen as I thought it would if I was ever in this situation. I could not control this situation and I could not control my reaction instincts either. It took me quite a long time to figure out why going in really deep water scared me so much and this is what I have figured out.

This is something I am working on, and now I have no problem going to the beach, standing in the water, and feeling it brush over my feet and hit my legs. I have never been too good at building sandcastles, but hopefully one day I will be. I appreciate the outdoors, the smell of the ocean, and how pretty beaches can be. However, with my fear aside, so many other activities are far more enjoyable. I am going to the beach this weekend with my family, and I am sure it will be lots of fun.

The point I want to leave you with, my thought behind me writing this whole piece, is that it is OK to not love the beach and swimming. I live in a state now where the idea of not loving the beach or pool is extremely foreign, and I wish someone would have told me when I was feeling so left out and ridiculed when I was younger that it was OK, that it was not a requirement to be accepted or liked. You can just tell people that you do not enjoy it, you do not have to lie and say that your parents won't let you or that you have other plans -- you can just be you.