It seems like everywhere I look on Facebook and Instagram, so many of my old high school classmates are settling down with their significant other; some of them are even getting engaged already. I know that there is a plethora of people who feel that they've found their "person" already. And while I'm so happy for my friends who feel like they've found the one, I'll admit that I am in no way ready for any of that as a 20-year-old college student.
I am way too independent to settle down right now. I have a million and one things that I want to accomplish before I even consider it. I enjoy my freedom and enjoy only having myself to worry about without adding somebody else into the equation. The thought of having to communicate where I'm going or worry about what a significant other is doing stresses me out.
And maybe I sound selfish saying that I don't want to worry about somebody else right now; but, honestly, we all need to take some time in our lives to be a little selfish for ourselves. I still need to completely figure myself out and where I want to go in life before I have to figure somebody else out. I have way too many goals and wishes that I want to fulfill right now, and those are the main focus of my attention. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I've always tried to make everyone else happy before myself, but right now I feel like I need to give 100% of my love and attention to myself.
Now, that's not to say I'm completely opposed to relationships. There are some nights I do wish I had that special someone to just stay in with and binge-watch Netflix shows. But I know that I can't promise someone that commitment right now.
I am comforted with the thought that I can choose to study abroad, move away after college, or even go out with girlfriends on the weekend without revolving any of those decisions around a boy. That is just not something that I am ready or willing to do. In 5+ years? Possibly. But definitely not right now or anytime soon.
I also have a thousand things to juggle right now without worrying about putting in the effort to keep a relationship afloat. Keeping someone else happy is a lot of work, and I just don’t have the right mindset or energy to be able to do that in college. And I’m sure that all of that is worth it when you find someone you completely click with and fall for. I just haven’t done that yet.
Hell, maybe I’ll run into my future husband tomorrow at the bank (but probably not). So until then, I’m going to do things for myself and be selfish for myself. I'm going to work towards fulfilling my goals and making myself utterly happy with my life. Then, once I feel like my life and my head are in the right place, I'll work on opening that new chapter of my life.
