Most people say that pent up anger or frustration is "bad for the soul", but I beg to differ. When the Dixie Chicks (who clearly know everything about everything) sang "I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down. I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go 'round and 'round and 'round," I believe they have a point. Yes, all this negativity may be putting a downer on your life, or bringing you down, blah blah blah, but the anger reminds you of what really happened. It reminds you of the pain. It reminds you of the excruciating hurt, the yelling and screaming and the "I hate you's" that you absolutely meant.
When you choose to let go of the anger, you sometimes forget how you came to be where you are. You forget how much you've been hurt and you consider "making nice". Well I say NO. Keep the anger, it reminds you to never let that person or thing bring you down again. Keep the frustration, it'll make sure you never go back to who or where you were because you're so damn angry with yourself for getting to that place the first time around.
Maybe it is too late to make nice, and maybe you feel guilty about that, but WHO CARES? You did what you had to do to protect yourself. You screamed, you fought, you walked away and no one can judge you for choosing how you began to save yourself.
Holding on to the reasons why you chose to not make nice is like a fire within you, fueling you to reach for more, to never settle, and to protect yourself from the past. It burns so hot sometimes you wish it would just go away, and maybe by "making nice" with your demons that'll happen, but maybe it won't. Maybe by letting the fire burn, you have a constant reminder to keep choosing yourself. A reminder that you were strong enough to get away, and you need not ever forget that.
So I say, don't make nice, don't back down, and don't run in circles wishing you could take it back or hoping for things to change. Most likely, they won't and they never will. The only person you need to protect in this world is yourself, so do what you have to do to protect yourself. Yell, scream, and believe in the Dixie Chicks- Don't Make Nice if You Really Don't Want To.
