My relationship to the concept of starting a family is a funny one. When I was 5 before I knew how babies were made, I wanted 7 of them. When I was about 7 I wanted to adopt. When I was 10 all the way until about 3 years ago I really wasn't sure I wanted children and I certainly have never been too thrilled about the idea of giving birth. Ideally, some day I'd like to give birth to one gorgeous daughter and one handsome son but it's safe to say that right now having kids is pretty low on the totem pole in terms of priority; here's why.
1. You're still a little self-centered
and you have every right to be when you are in your 20s and single. You won't be all your life, you just aren't ready to give it up just yet.
2. You love sleeping in
and sleeping period. Both are hard to accomplish with a screaming new born.
3. You're still building
I'm not saying it's impossible to build a career and financial stability while raising a child (my mom did), but it certainly ain't easy. Both are full time jobs!
4. You are secretly (or not so secretly) terrified of babies
You feel overwhelmed, but not always with joy when you see them. Are they people? Are they aliens? Are they little amorphous blobs that yell at you and poop all the time? The world may never know...
5. The idea of someone handing you one raises your anxiety levels
Am I holding it right? Am I gonna like break it? Will the parents sue me if it starts crying? Does it like me?
6. You find "The Miracle of Birth" to be less than inspiring
Nothing could have prepared you for that mental image that is now seared into the back of your mind.
7. You've thought on more than one occasion you lack a "maternal gene"
I mean even my poodle doesn't respect my authority. How am I supposed to instruct a human on how to live?
8. The immediate future you envision involves more shoes than diapers
Pretty self-explanatory.
9. You've honestly considered throwing a party to celebrate your empty womb
It has crossed your mind...
10. Babies are cute and all but have you seen puppies?
Give me a basket of these little love muffins over a human child any day!
11. It's hard for you to really take care of yourself
You barely remember to take gummy vitamins and those are basically candy. Folic acid? No soft cheese? Medical appointments? No thanks!
12. You want to be free without the constraints of a tiny human
I want it more than I can tell...
13. You're financially solvent just yet
Here's a news flash: BABIES ARE FREAKIN' EXPENSIVE YO!
14. You know you've got some good raw material to work with but you are nowhere near mature enough to nurture a life you created
but you haven't accomplished everything you want to before settling down just yet.
15. Because you don't feel obligated to have kids on someone else's terms
So like stay out of my uterus!
