Now, let me start of my saying that I am single, like, so single. So it’s not like there is any prospect of me getting married in the near future. This is just coming from a single girl who feels there are at least five new engagements or marriages on Facebook on any given day, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels that way.
I have friends who are in serious committed relationships, friends who are engaged, friends who are married, I mean I even know people who are married with kids that are my age. Not going to lie, I have had the, Why aren’t I getting married? thoughts and worried that because I’m so single, I probably won’t ever get married and I’m going to have to live in my married friends’ basement. This is one of my more dramatic moments and is probably not going to be the case. Just so you know, me dreaming of getting married isn’t exactly out of the ordinary because, yes, I am one of those girls who have been planning my wedding since the time I was able to formulate a thought. I am a total romantic, that’s just how I am which isn't making my wedding fever any easier.
I just recently realized my marriage “jealousy” may not actually be a reflection of what I actually want. I’ve never needed to actually think about whether or not I could get married because it’s never been a reality for me, that is until recently, but not in the way you would think. Like I said, I’ve seen others around me get engaged and married, but I just found out not too long ago that one of my best friends since kindergarten would be married around this time next year. I have grown up with her, we had always hit the same life milestones and now she’s getting married. For some reason this was the moment that made marriage a reality versus just a fantasy. If one of the closest people on this planet to me could be getting married, then that meant (if I was in a serious committed relationship) it wouldn’t be considered crazy if I too were discussing marriage. I mean I’m graduating college in a year, I’m about to be a real adult.
This ah-ha moment made me realize that I am so not ready to be someone’s wife as much as I hate to admit that. I mean, could I handle marriage? Probably. Would I handle it with dignity and grace and know what I was doing? The jury is still out on that one. I just don’t think that at this point in my life I am ready for marriage and the level of adult that comes with it. And guess what? That’s 110% OK.
Let’s be honest, I’m still at the stage in my life where I consider drinking directly out of the wine bottle to be appropriate at all times, I don’t even think I own wine glasses. That, in and of itself, should speak volumes. Come on I’m only 21, I still have some time to find Mr. Right and to find myself, for that matter --which probably isn’t such a bad idea. I don’t need to feel I should be getting married or that I should be ready to get married, whether I’m single or not. I even have a friend who is in a committed relationship who said to me, “I think I should get my own dog and apartment first.” That’s OK, too.
There is nothing wrong with getting married at or around my age, power to you. That’s probably where those people are at in their lives. I’m not extremely religious by any means, but I do think God puts things in our lives when we have the ability to handle them.
So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m not going to worry that I’m single and extremely far from marriage just because other people my age are at that point in their lives. I’m going to go with the flow and enjoy my single years of not needing to be ready and what my life looks like, right now. Who knows, this time next year I may not be in the same position. I may just have a reason to be ready.
