Going to a Baptist college, it feels like there is a new engagement every week (and there usually is). You can't walk across campus without seeing a couple walking down the sidewalk. It's great to see couples that are following Christ in their relationship, but it can be difficult not to be a little jealous of it. Here's the deal: I'm 19 years old and I'm single. I know that isn't that strange, but what if I told you that I have been single for 19 years? That's right, I have never dated in my life.
Until I got to high school, I always thought that I would start dating really young and date a bunch of guys before I got married. However, as I got older, I started to think about the purpose behind dating. To me, the purpose of dating is to find my future husband. Let's just be honest, no middle school, and most high school students, would be mature enough to get married; I know I wasn't even close. I feel like if I would have dated a bunch of guys, I would be taking something from my husband.
In her book "Before You Meet Prince Charming," Sarah Mally uses the metaphor of our hearts being like a cake for a surprise birthday party. Pretend your family is throwing you a surprise party. Before you get there, one of your friends asks if he could have a little piece of cake. Your mom says yes because she figures that a little piece won't make a difference. So, another one of your friends takes a piece of cake, and another, and another. By the time you get there, there's hardly any cake left for you when it should have been yours from the beginning. If I do get married, I want to be able to give my husband my whole heart, not just the leftovers.
I want to be married. I can't wait to have a connection like that with someone. However, I can't rush that kind of relationship until I have my relationship with Christ in the right place. In 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, Paul says:
"7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust."
Singleness is a gift just like married life is a gift. Some people have been blessed with the gift of singleness, some haven't. At least for right now, I am proudly single. If God decides to give me the gift of marriage, I will gladly accept it, but if He doesn't, then I will use my singleness to serve Him the best I can. So, even though I see people getting engaged all over the place, I won't pursue my Mrs. Degree. I'm going to let God take care of the details while I wait as patiently as possible.
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." ~Philippians 1:6
