We all catch ourselves doing it. Someone in the grocery store, mall, or waiting room is so blatantly "different" you can't help but look. Maybe they are in a wheelchair, missing a limb, or physically abnormal looking. Our mothers always taught us, "it's not polite to stare." But human nature forces us to look, at least until they notice and we feel bad for staring. Sometimes we look because we feel bad, feel curious, or just can't stop thinking about it. Anyway for any reason . . . it hurts.
I was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata as a child, and was once the person being stared at. I was bald as a 5-year-old, which couldn't make me more different. Other kids would point; parents would try to stop it - really only making it more obvious. Adults would stare, which was truly surprising to me. Even as a child, I felt so rejected by society for being bald. I was weird looking; people stared at me when I was in public. To a kid, this is so confusing.
As I grew up and my hair grew back, I began to find myself drawn to staring at others. I was more critical of myself doing it because I knew exactly how it felt, but I still did it. I noticed how judged people with a disability were. All eyes were always on that person. It was degrading and hard to watch. What I did realize, was how it hurts so many more people than I expected.
When I lost all my hair two years ago, I was very withdrawn from society. This was completely due to the fact that I knew people would stare at me in public, which is so unfair. Eventually, I realized I couldn't hide anymore and had to embrace myself. Now, I notice people looking, but I try to ignore it. What hurts more is when people laugh or make a point to show me off to everyone, as if I was some sort of freak. The most awful feeling, though, is seeing my family affected by it. When I am out and about, my parents notice the staring more than I do. It hurts them to see their child being gawked at as if I was a sideshow attraction. No parent wants to see their child being treated as an outcast. I can't begin to imagine how that must feel.
This is just my story, but there are a million more people just like me, with stories just like mine. Anyone with a disability or deformity of any kind faces this every day from our society. How is that right? Just by staring at those who have disabilities or deformities, we make them feel like they don't belong and negatively stand out in the crowd. It is so harmful to the people who are already uncomfortable and self-conscious. Keep your eyes to yourself. Don't pay them anymore mind than you would a "normal" stranger walking past. If you can't do it for the person, then do it for their family. No matter what their story is, staring at someone is NEVER okay. So listen to your mother, and remember, "it's not polite to stare."
