When I started college, I had no idea what my party aspirations were. I had no large dreams to hit every party or club in town one Saturday night, or see how many drinks I could tolerate before I had a blackout. I had more things to focus on like my dance major, my writing, and my sleep. People didn't look to me to join them at parties, and I didn't look for any parties or party people.
The longer I was in school, the more people I became acquainted who had some familiarity with the party scene, in town or out of town. So one night, I offered to be a designated driver and I joined them at one. I did this three or four times within the course of one semester and had similar reactions: get me out of here.
Most parties I have been to have included large crowds, in very small areas. I'm not claustrophobic as long as I'm not in the dark, but that doesn't mean I still wasn't freaked out with all of the humans crowded around me dancing. How they even had room to dance I have no idea! My anxiety rose, thinking the volume was going to get the cops called, and I just wanted some space, peace, and quiet.
I'm one of the few within my friend group that isn't into the party scene, to the point where I won't go to one more than once a month for more than 30 minutes. I would much rather have a big game or movie party, where everyone had a seat with leg room. More intimate settings are pleasing to me, because I can communicate with my friends without screaming.
In most of these cases, I know the majority of the people, therefore I trust them. I found myself at these big parties constantly looking around, checking my surroundings, not trusting anyone around me besides the friends I went with. I couldn't even enjoy attempting to dance and sing because I was so paranoid. In intimate settings, I am more familiar with the settings and the people included, so no need to be paranoid.
There's nothing wrong with not being a party person. There are so many things you can do with other friends who choose not to go out. Go get ice cream, binge-watch Gilmore Girls all night, work on those crafts you saved on Pinterest, and the list is endless. It doesn't have to involve, large crowds, loud noises, or alcohol. My favorite thing to do while my friends are out is sleep, because it's my favorite hobby. I get so much sleep on weekends where everyone is out and therefore probably won't answer my texts or Snapchats.
The next time you feel pressured to be a party person, just remember the things you would miss out on if you tried pushing yourself through a party, and don't feel ashamed!
