In every relationship I have had or am in, may it be a friend, family member or boyfriend, I have always been labeled as heartless. Majority of people definition of heartless is the girl who can't put other people's feelings into perspective, maybe selfish or stand offish. But my definition is one simple word, smart. Smart because I am picky with who I share my life with. Smart because I reserve my time and energy rather than giving it all to somebody who doesn't care. Smart because I will not allow myself to apologize for having high standards. Smart because I will always be true to myself and values.
Just because I will never cry to somebody about my problems doesn't mean I'm not a shoulder to cry on. I am the first person a friend can come to and I will open my heart and wisdom to them as if they were my own. I will be the first person to help somebody in need. I will be the first person to do a good deed. No, I'm not saying I'm the greatest person in the world for doing so, but other people's happiness has always out weighed my own. Maybe I'm like this because I'm young and maybe fixing other people's problems will become exhausting but one thing I know is that I can face many situations without collapsing because of my "heartless" mentality.
From time to time I have questioned myself, do I feel too little? As I got older I have come to realize I feel little but enough. I feel enough that I will put others first when needed and I will put myself first when needed. I will never mock somebody for having feelings. I will never shut somebody out because of their problems or insecurities. Although I am not the most vocal person when it comes to love, my actions speak volumes and my promises will always be kept. Some might say carrying other peoples burdens while bottling your own is unhealthy but in my eyes my problems are so little because I know I can handle them. But to the person crying on my shoulder, they are the ones who need my help and big or small I will be there. I do not avoid my problems by being this way, instead I rally when the going gets tough and solve the problem without thriving on the negatives. Being heartless does not mean I walk around hating the world, it means I think with my brain not with my heart.
