It's finals week. You're stressed and all consumed with the dilemma of whether to study or go out. You realize, "we have one week left," and you debate this all-too-true mantra:
“You have four years to be irresponsible, relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due on a Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does." - Tom Petty.
You decide that those few less hours you'll get to spend studying are worth spending doing reckless things until dawn, with the people who have become your family. It is a very special time that is unlike any other experience you may ever have. And whether you're graduating and moving on to a new city or new job, or just preparing to face the few seemingly never-ending months of summer away from your adopted home, these kinds of decisions make every final grade, high or low, worthwhile.
These moments, the nights that you stay up until 4 A.M. just laughing and recounting all of your past adventures together, good and bad hook-ups, embarrassing moments and favorite memories, are the times when we feel the most sentimental about parting with.
In my case, I'm out of state student attending a school where many of my friends live in-state and fairly close to each other. I will definitely endure some serious "FOMO". To cope with this, you develop other means of communication and keeping up with your friends to fill the void. You have countless group chats where you can share your daily activities, whether it's another day at work, or a crazy story from your night out that you wish your friends could have been there for.
You make FaceTime dates because you don't have the patience to text a novel about the deep thoughts you've been having, about how you truly believe that everything happens for a reason, or how you think you might be psychic. Or maybe your college friends just really need to see your mannerisms and hear your voice, to understand the interaction you had with your old high school crush the night before. And seeing their faces and hearing their voices also helps you to get through the brutal months without each other.
One thing that's hard to wrap our heads around while being apart from our college world, is the lessons we've learned, that no other experience than college could enable us to learn: anywhere else or with anyone else.
“College has given me the confidence I need to fail. " - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title.
You've learned things about yourself, about the world, and about other people that may very well have shaped your attitude, or maybe even changed your mind about a predetermined judgement. Going through it with whoever you went through it with, has made some experiences special to specific people. Certain words, movies, meals, clothing items, objects, etc. will forever stick with you, holding a special significance to individuals or groups, and there are things that you can only talk to certain people about.
You have to unfortunately say your goodbyes, some before you're ready depending on your friends' final schedules. Packing and moving out hurts your heart in a very real, physical way. You will miss the memories you've made in the places you've roamed in, and the people you've roamed with. The daunting summer feels like the iceberg in the Titanic, despite the fact that summer gave you the opposite feeling, when you were in high school. A week ago you were tired and beckoned for home, but now you're just days away. You want to slam your foot on the brakes and bite your tongue for ever wishing away time. The goodbyes are sad and tear-filled no doubt, but you realize, that in the grand scheme of things, summer is a mere blip. Three months, give or take, some filled with internships or summer classes, others with babysitting, and others, still, are filled with traveling to foreign countries. Nonetheless, it will fly by even if it seems like it's taking forever.
Now you're back under your parents' roof. You are expected to follow their rules, and while it is great that your parents can do your laundry and cook you breakfast, you feel trapped without the freedom you had at school. You argue that if you can live on your own and go to school, while doing irresponsible things for 9 months more or less, that you are capable of doing things on your own without your parents checking in every minute of your day.
Chances are, they don't know who you're texting. They don't know if you're driving somewhere and not running away, but just getting food. They don't know if you're drinking at a friends, that you're not even thinking about getting behind a wheel, and that you have a safe ride home or a place to stay (curfews won't work). And you think to yourself, "this is going to be one long summer".
Fast forward. You're in the home stretch. You have a month, or maybe a few weeks left, and you can almost taste the cheap alcohol and excitement of welcome week. You've nearly survived what felt like the worst thing in the world, and everyone you know will be annoyed by how much you talk about returning to school. But you can't help it, because it's all you're thinking about.
You can't predict what will happen, but you are both excited and nervous for the unlimited possibilities to come. But remember, if you live your life with your main priority being to protect yourself, you will miss out on a lot of opportunities that are worth the risk, even if getting hurt is a possibility. It's all part of life, and it helps us to learn and grow as people.
For those of you who are graduating and moving onto a whole new world, maybe a different city or a new job, I wish you the best of luck, and I give you this quote, to take with you:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go." - Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
HAGS.
