It can be a difficult thing to try and reconcile because ending up with someone is a notion that’s pushed on all of us from pretty much day one.

There is way more to life than romantic relationships.

There is more to the lives we live here than falling in love and getting married. There’s nothing wrong with searching for a romantic relationship to help add to your life. However, there’s this overarching idea that regardless of where the chips fall, you’ll have a significant other when all is said and done. It can get a bit suffocating, especially the older you get.

The reason I think that it gets overwhelming for people is because we know that sometimes it simply doesn’t work out that way. Sometimes people just never find someone that they click with that way. Sometimes people get married, thinking that this person is it, and then something happens. People drift away from each other and never drift towards another person, or they lose their loved one and never try to find someone else. There are other times still when people just don’t have any interest or major concern when it comes to their love-lives. Everyone is always hearing, “Well don’t worry, you’re going to find someone eventually,” but that’s not always how it works. Furthermore, why is it something that we’re made to “worry” about in the first place?

There are so many other things that make up our lives besides romance. For some reason, those things seem to lose their credibility if a person doesn’t have a marriage and a family. For some reason relationships seem to catapult to the forefront in the eyes of society despite the fact that our lives consist of so much more than that. Some people fall in love with their careers and with traveling and, most importantly, with themselves, and that’s more than enough for them. There is no shame in that. There’s nothing wrong with finding enough validation outside of romance.

You have people who, from the time they’re in their mid-20s into their early 30s, are freaking out on one level or another that they’re going to end up alone. This is the time when people should be building up themselves, making a career and looking for independence in things like having their own place to live, and money to pay for their own car and insurance. They should be finding security within themselves because at the end of the day we depend on ourselves more than anything else in the world. The last thing that should be weighing on someone’s mind when they’re trying to climb the ladder in their field is, “Oh god I haven’t been in a relationship in 18 months. I’m not getting any younger, and at this point, I should just accept the fact that I’m going to die alone.” While relationships can be a good addition to people’s lives and can bring a lot of joy to them, they aren’t the only source of long-term happiness.

The idea that life is just a means to a romantic end needs to stop. There isn’t anything wrong with falling in love and finding someone that you want to spend forever with. On the flip-side of that, we need to stop acting like people who don’t find that have something inherently lacking in their lives. Life is so much more than just romance. As a society, we need to start making that fact clear. Love stories are great and relationships can be a lot of fun, but people’s lives shouldn’t have to revolve around them. There is so much more to life than trying to find someone out there to “complete” you. We all start out as complete people and we just need to find the things in life that compliment us best.