Not Becoming A Doctor Was One Of The Hardest Decisions Of My Life

Not Becoming A Doctor Was One Of The Hardest Decisions Of My Life

It took me a while before I realized my life was mine, not anyone else's.


My parents always told me I was going to be a doctor. Not asked, told. Since I was six-years-old, they stated the unknown fact that I will definitely become one. I will help so many people. I will have so much money and live in such a huge mansion. Once I was in high school, it was stated that I was to be a pediatrician or an obstetrician or maybe even a gynecologist. It was already in my head that I was to become one of those.

And that's it. I mistook peer pressure for passion. Any other options besides doctor never even crossed my mind. I always sucked at science. I had no passion for it. My passion was reading, writing, and history. But I ignored what I was actually good at because the idea of becoming a doctor was engraved in my mind. If I don't become a doctor, what else am I gonna do with my life? I basically become a failure then, right? I disappointed my parents and crushed their dreams. I disappointed everyone who knew I was pre-med and failed to meet their high expectations for me.

It took me a very long time to realize... so what? So what if I didn't live up to the expectations other people in my life had for me? In the end, it is my life and I'm the person living it and directly dealing with my successes or consequences. After suffering through chem and bio my whole freshman year of college, I knew I could not go through 10 more years of science and then work with science every day as a doctor for the rest of my life. It was not what I was good at, it was not my passion, and it took me a very long time to accept that.

I started exploring different options. My older sister suggested I try law so I researched it and decided to give it a shot. It was ambitious but for the first time since I entered college, I was excited. Law was a mixture of all my passions and I was so hyped to learn more about the field and grow as a student.

So I went from a typical biology major on the pre-med track to a double major in psychology and political science on the pre-law track.

And it was definitely one of the best decisions I have made in my life. Now, I actually want to study and learn more. I read my political science articles with a passion I never had for chemistry or biology. I want to do better because I know I can do better and be better.

But, I won't lie, when I initially switched to pre-law, it seemed like most of the people in my life didn't believe in me. They thought I was chasing a dream far out of my reach. But they only thought this way because, in their minds, science is the only subject you can succeed in. Which is so untrue. And I never stopped doing my research for pre-law. I spoke to different students in law school and they advised me and reassured me that I was definitely on the right path and that my dreams were valid.

My parents were a bit difficult to handle, but they soon accepted the fact that law was something that I wanted to do and they trusted my choices. They knew I had the capability to be great. And now I know that, too. You cannot just choose a major that will pay well or give you a good reputation, you need one that you can excel in and will push you to your limits. I know that my majors will do just that for me and I know I can grow within these subjects. I expect nothing less.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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For Camille, With Love

To my godmother, my second mom, my rooted confidence, my support


First grade, March. It was my first birthday without my mom. You through a huge party for me, a sleepover with friends from school. It included dress up games and making pizza and Disney trivia. You, along with help from my grandma, threw me the best birthday party a 7-year-old could possibly want.

During elementary school, I carpooled with you and a few of the neighborhood kids. I was always the last one to be dropped off, sometimes you would sneak a donut for me. Living next door to you was a blessing. You helped me with everything. In second grade, you helped me rehearse lines for history day so I could get extra credit. In 4th grade, you helped me build my California mission.

You and your sister came out to my 6th grade "graduation". You bought me balloons and made me feel as if moving onto middle school was the coolest thing in the entire world.

While you moved away from next door, you were a constant in my life. Going to Ruby's Diner for my birthday, seeing movies at the Irvine Spectrum and just hanging out, I saw you all the time. During these times, you told me about all of the silly things you did with my mom and dad, how my mom was your best friend. I couldn't have had a greater godmother.

In middle school, you pushed me to do my best and to enroll in honors. You helped me through puberty and the awkward stages of being a woman.

Every single time I saw you, it would light up my entire day, my week. You were more than my godmother, you were my second mom. You understood things that my grandma didn't.

When you married John, you included me in your wedding. I still have that picture of you, Jessica, Aaron and myself on my wall at college. I was so happy for you.

Freshmen year of high school, you told me to do my best. I did my best because of you. When my grandma passed away that year, your shoulder was the one I wanted to cry on.

You were there when I needed to escape home. You understood me when I thought no one would. You helped me learn to drive, letting me drive all the way from San Clemente to Orange.

When I was applying to colleges, you encouraged me to spread my wings and fly. You told me I should explore, get out of California. I wanted to study in London, you told me to do it. That's why, when I study abroad this Spring in London, I will do it for you.

When I had gotten into UWT, you told me to go there. I did and here I am, succeeding and living my best in Tacoma. I do it for you, because of you.

When I graduated high school and I was able to deliver a speech during our baccalaureate, you cheered me on. You recorded it for me, so I could show people who weren't able to make it to the ceremony. You were one of the few people able to come to my actual graduation. You helped me celebrate the accomplishments and awards from my hard work.

When your cancer came back, I was so worried. I was afraid for you, I was afraid of what I would do without the support you had always given me. When I was in Rome, I went to the Vatican and had gotten a Cross with a purple gem in the middle blessed by the Pope to help you with your treatments. It was something from me and a little bit of my mom in the necklace, the gem.

Now, sitting so far from you away at college just like you wanted me to. I miss you. I wish I was there to say goodbye.

I'll travel the world for you, write lots of stories and books for you, I will live life to the fullest for you.

You are another angel taken too early in life. Please say hello to my parents and grandma in Heaven for me.

Lots of love,


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