Ever since I was a little girl sporting yellow stretchy pants, three different necklaces, and a fanny pack, I have loved to think up outfits and wear something entirely new every day.

I would always sit and mentally picture all of my clothes and accessories, designing each outfit for the week in my head. There was even one phase when I would actually type my imagined outfits into a Word document and check them off as I wore them (I think that was middle school—classic middle school). My friends always complimented my outfits, and that felt nice; however material that validation was, it was a validation nonetheless.

There were times when I felt slightly out of place. One time in highschool, when I was wearing a particularly glossy pair of leggings and a blue, leopard-print dress with dangly earrings, a friend came up to me and asked, “What’s happening today?” Confused, I shook my head and shrugged. “Oh,” she said, “I just thought it was a special occasion—you look so dressed up!”

That was the first time I’d even considered that thought. I looked dressed up? Was that weird? It made me feel weird. I don’t think I ever wore that outfit to school again.

As I got older, I began hearing more and more about how when I got to college, I’d probably just end up wearing sweatpants and my hair in a bun every day like everyone else, because college students didn’t have time to think about outfits, they just slept and rolled out of bed. That was my impression of college fashion, and I began to expect that I, too, would become a sweatpants-every-day girl. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that (which really means, I wasn’t very excited to wear sweatpants every day).

I am now a junior in college, and I think I’ve worn sweatpants to class a solid two times (and I’m not talking about leggings—I’m talking about legit, baggy sweatpants). The thing is, I never felt the need or desire to suddenly stop how I wore clothes when I started college. I couldn’t ignore the enjoyment I felt when thinking up outfits, so I just kept doing it, and I still am today. It just gives me delight, and it makes me feel put-together and more prepared to tackle the day. Part of it is also a genuine love for the clothing I own; I’ve become an extremely stingy shopper, so when I buy something, it’s because I actually really like it and I’m going to wear it frequently (and, of course, because it’s on sale/under fifteen bucks). Over half of my wardrobe consists of hand-me-downs, so I guess another part of it is the feeling of resourcefulness I get when I come up with a new way to pair old items.

It’s not like it even takes that much more time than throwing on sweatpants; I don’t even get up that early. Sometimes I have time to plan the next day’s outfit the night before (and the whole week’s if I’m lucky), and sometimes I just decide in the morning. I think some people assume that it must take me a long time to coordinate everything I’m wearing, but surprise—it really doesn’t.

Now, some people will say that they make an effort with their outfits solely for themselves, and never for any potential romantic interests. But, I mean, let’s be honest; while I definitely wear the majority of my outfits for myself and because it makes me happy, I also definitely put a particularly conscious effort into my outfit if I know I’ll be running into someone who I want to think I’m attractive. Seriously though, we all do it. I remember several times in middle and high school when I would be so disappointed—legitimately crushed—to find out that my crush was absent that day, because I knew I looked especially cute. And I don’t think there’s any shame in this. To pretend like this is a materialistic, demeaning, I’m-only-doing-this-to-look-good-for-others kind of thing is ridiculous. We don’t have to wear certain outfits for the same reason every day. If I want a specific person to think I’m cute, I’ll wear something that I know makes me look cute. If I want to wear something because I just really want to wear it, even if it’s on one of those stupid “Fashion Trends Boys Hate When Girls Wear” type of lists, I will wear it. It’s pretty simple. Regardless of the audience I might be thinking of when I put on an outfit, I’m still exercising my own choice, and that, in my opinion, is what matters.

My love for outfits and fashion has always been something I never really talked to anyone about. Some part of me always felt a little embarrassed, a little hesitant to reveal something others might think was silly, or a waste of time, or too superficial to spend so many minutes thinking about. I was the nerd, I cared about school and writing and my other hobbies—why would I care so much about clothes and necklaces? Why should I get so dressed up when I’m only going to school?

It took me a while to understand that, first, no one actually cares that much, and second, this is not something to feel embarrassed about. It doesn’t make me “girly,” it doesn’t make me “materialistic,” and it doesn’t signify that I have any less intelligence than anyone else. Yes, there are a lot of people out there, tween girls in particular, who give too much thought to which Hollister tote bag they’re going to buy next and not enough to international affairs or climate change or their school work. But the vast majority of us put effort into our daily outfits because it gives us some kind of fulfillment or enjoyment—because we want to, and we have the choice to. It does not reflect our brain power. It reflects our personalities and characters.

So, I’ve realized that my love for outfits is an inevitable part of who I am (cue the cheesiness); I’ll never be a sweatpants-every-day girl, and I don’t want to be (not that there’s anything at all wrong with that!). People always throw out the “clothes are a form of self-expression!” line, but it’s actually true. My outfits reflect who I am, and I love being able to feel who I am in what I wear and to present that to the people I interact with. That’s not to say that I don’t wear sweatpants and heavily minimize the outfit effort on the weekends/when I’m not doing anything except homework or sitting in front of my computer. But on most mornings, I will put on my carefully thought-out combination of clothing items and shoes, complete with matching accessories, and I will feel genuinely excited to wear this for the entire day.

And if the day sucks, if it ends up going terribly, I will feel a small comfort in the fact that I’m at least wearing a cute outfit.