When I meet someone I never think of how the friendship will eventually end. I only see through the lens of positivity and how this new friendship is meant to be. In the beginning, of it, this friendship caught me by surprise with all of the things we had in common and how much we seemed to click. Just like in any relationship there were some dark moments, but I truly believed we would be in each other's life forever. Until I realized that a friend break up was occurring right under my nose.

Throughout this whole friendship, I had people tell me that it was a toxic relationship. I still cannot see that but perhaps it was toxic. Even though to me this person seemed to be my missing puzzle piece. Sadly this bliss did not last as long as I had hoped it would.

The past two weeks I have not had any contact with my puzzle piece and had started to think that this was it for our story. My heart tightens in my chest as I say that sentence because I have never been good with saying goodbye to anyone. Letting go of someone or something is a struggle for me. I want to believe that my missing puzzle piece will come back to me and we will be friends again, but if no it will be a friend break up.

Mostly the only breakups you hear about are between romantic partners, but friends break up too. Forming a friendship requires trust and a mutual understanding just like in a romantic relationship. But in a friendship, it is so much more than a romantic connection that person starts to become your family. You begin to hold that person at a certain standard so if they let you down it hurts. So when you and your friend reach the end of your story it can feel like someone ripped out your heart.

The worst part of my own experiences is the aspect of broken trust. Trust takes time to build, so broken trust can take time to heal or may never heal at all. Another aspect of a friend breaks up that has affected me is feeling as if the person lied to me through the whole friendship. While you can never truly know if the whole relationship was a scam just know that you can not change the past and if they lied to you good riddance.

Sadly I am still at the beginning of the stages of getting over my own friend heartbreak. It hurts yes, but I have to release that after I "morn" the loss of a beautiful friendship another will come along. My heart may hurt but I still have amazing people in my life and I thank God for them every day.

To help me take my mind off of it I have started to journal more, continue to play guitar, and mostly limit my time around things that make me sad or upset. The Netflix series "Narcos" always puts me in a better mood and distracts me from thinking of that person.

Finally, I chose to believe that when God closes a door he opens a window. So as this door in my life closes I look above for the window opening.