OK, at this point, we've all either seen "We're The Millers" or at least heard the references to one of its more famous lines, "No regrets? Not even one letter?"
The line is, of course, referencing a character's unfortunate "No Ragrets" chest tattoo. Despite frequent questioning, he remains blissfully unaware of the irony of his spelling error, sticking firmly to his belief in living without looking back. The character is an idiot, but the sentiment is actually something we should consider: Perhaps ragrets regrets simply aren't worth it.
Personally, most of my regrets come from various relationships, romantic and otherwise (but mostly the romantic ones). I've loved a lot of the wrong people, and I've been burned by that. I think we all have, in some way, whether we got dumped or simply wish we'd told someone we liked them before it was too late.
The older I get -- I am, after all, at the ripe old age of 21 -- however, the more I realize that every person I've been involved with has changed my life in a way that ultimately, worked out for good. The guy who emotionally manipulated me when I was a young teenager broke me, but that brokenness made me a stronger person in the end. The boy who dumped me the day after my high school graduation (and, now that I think about it, who may be reading this -- Hi! No hard feelings!) actually freed me up for the next stage of my life. While I was in that relationship, the way he cared for me helped begin to teach me to love myself, and the Taylor Swift-esque post-breakup trauma didn't take those lessons away. There's a guy out there that I kissed once and left, giving him every reason to never speak to me again. He, however, has become someone I trust, and he patiently lets me vent to him in horrifyingly long and melodramatic text messages.
There's more: the guy friends I've cared for deeply, but who found their match in other girls, the boys who liked me when I didn't like them (and then vice versa -- ships in the night doesn't even begin to cover it), and so on and so forth. We all know what those are like. Until very recently, I would have told you that I would take back those decisions and those relationships if I could, because I thought that heartache was nothing but a waste.
Pro tip: It isn't.
The thing about having no regrets is that not regretting a decision doesn't mean you'll make it again. For a long time, I believed the opposite, and I lived my life cringing at my past instead of seeing it as the beautiful mess that it is. I've been through pain and heartbreak that I wouldn't repeat, but choosing to see it through a lens other than regret has been incredibly freeing. No, Mom and Dad, I won't express this freedom with a tattoo anytime soon, but the impact of this revelation is something that I want to be just as permanent.
If you're reading this and just not connecting, think about it in different terms -- maybe you don't have a relationship you really regret. Maybe you're like my parents and you're married to your high school sweetheart. Perhaps, instead, you have regrets in another area of your life. That's OK. This concept still applies. It's a bit of a challenge, really, and I'd like you to dig into it. Acknowledge those regrets that keep you up at night, and learn to see their good side. Create your own credo out of it.
Not even one letter, one person, one mishap, one fall...
No ragrets.
