Fun-Sized Apologies

No More Fun-Sized Apologies

Apologies are not meant to be sweet or small, so let's stop treating them like they're something we can do quickly.

aruhman
aruhman
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Relationships of all kinds should be built on respect and trust. A vital part of maintaining that level of respect and trust is being accountable for your own actions. The problem is that society has promoted this idea of fun-size apologies that act as a portion of a checklist rather than an indication of growth and maturity.

While apologizing for bumping into someone is different than apologizing for something big, those big apologies require active participation. Apologies aren't easy, and they shouldn't be. They are a way for people to recognize that their behavior has to change.

The trend of passively saying "I'm sorry" as a way of apology isn't fair to anyone within the situation. The thing is, proper apologizes should lead to a conversation, and changed behavior. There are two parts to every conversation: talking and listening. If someone is trying to apologize without listening, this means that there is no longer a conversation. It is a confrontation.

The second important part of an actual apology is making an actual effort to change the behavior that caused the issue. If the person apologizes but refuses to use this as a learning experience, the apology wasn't sincere. The problem with problematic behavior is that people have to actively break the habit of that behavior. Apologies without growth show that the person apologizing is doing so for selfish reasoning.

Apologies aren't for the person saying sorry. They are for the person who was impacted negatively. If the person who did not display troublesome behavior has to seek out or ask for an apology, then the person apologizing needs to pay even more attention to the behavior after the fact. If you are unable to recognize the problem you may have caused, listen carefully and critically apply what the person is saying.

The art of saying "I'm sorry" is critical to forming a long-lasting and healthy relationship. Accepting that you were in the wrong helps to build maturity and accountability. It's your behavior, make sure you own up to it.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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If Shonda Can Do A Year Of Yes, Then So Can I

Yes.

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A few years ago, Shonda Rimes decided to do a year of saying yes, after her sister told her she says "No" to everything. It ended up changing her life.

So, I've decided to embark on my own year of yes.

Sure, it may be easy to say yes to everything when you're a millionaire with a bunch of record-setting televisions shows, but the rest of us can do it too.

Say yes to treating yourself.

Say yes to taking care of yourself.

Say yes to saying no, don't stretch yourself too thin.

Say yes to new opportunities

The year of yes is about taking better care of yourself.

My year of yes starts right now.

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