Fun-Sized Apologies

No More Fun-Sized Apologies

Apologies are not meant to be sweet or small, so let's stop treating them like they're something we can do quickly.

aruhman
aruhman
268
views

Relationships of all kinds should be built on respect and trust. A vital part of maintaining that level of respect and trust is being accountable for your own actions. The problem is that society has promoted this idea of fun-size apologies that act as a portion of a checklist rather than an indication of growth and maturity.

While apologizing for bumping into someone is different than apologizing for something big, those big apologies require active participation. Apologies aren't easy, and they shouldn't be. They are a way for people to recognize that their behavior has to change.

The trend of passively saying "I'm sorry" as a way of apology isn't fair to anyone within the situation. The thing is, proper apologizes should lead to a conversation, and changed behavior. There are two parts to every conversation: talking and listening. If someone is trying to apologize without listening, this means that there is no longer a conversation. It is a confrontation.

The second important part of an actual apology is making an actual effort to change the behavior that caused the issue. If the person apologizes but refuses to use this as a learning experience, the apology wasn't sincere. The problem with problematic behavior is that people have to actively break the habit of that behavior. Apologies without growth show that the person apologizing is doing so for selfish reasoning.

Apologies aren't for the person saying sorry. They are for the person who was impacted negatively. If the person who did not display troublesome behavior has to seek out or ask for an apology, then the person apologizing needs to pay even more attention to the behavior after the fact. If you are unable to recognize the problem you may have caused, listen carefully and critically apply what the person is saying.

The art of saying "I'm sorry" is critical to forming a long-lasting and healthy relationship. Accepting that you were in the wrong helps to build maturity and accountability. It's your behavior, make sure you own up to it.

Popular Right Now

Saying Goodbye To Freshman Year

"High School goes by fast, but college goes by even faster."
63812
views

“High School goes by fast, but college goes by even faster”, we’ve all heard it and probably all ignored it as well. I mean time is time. It moves at the same pace no matter what you’re doing right?

Nope.

High School is over, I’m now a freshman in college and it’s April. I’m sitting here in my dorm looking at all my clothes, and bins thinking, how in the hell will this all fit in my car again? It is crazy, I need to be thinking about all of this now because there is one month of my freshman year left, just one.

All I can keep thinking is how? Wasn’t it just last week that I moved into my cozy room at the end of the hall, or just yesterday that I ran home to two hundred beautiful new sisters? As much as it seems like yesterday, it wasn’t.

It was almost eight months ago that I stepped onto this campus as a freshman, now it is my last four weeks and they are jam-packed. From formal to finals I am in the home stretch of my first year of college. I just registered for my classes next semester, and can’t get it through my head that I will soon be a sophomore.

While walking around campus I still catch myself thinking, wow I am really here. I am a college student, at a school, I fall more in love with every day. So, how can I be a sophomore now when I feel like I just got here?

Yes, I still have three amazing years of college ahead of me, and I can’t wait to see what those years have in store in for me. But, I just can’t help but feel a little sad that I won’t be a freshman anymore. I won’t be the youngest in my sorority family, I won’t be coming back to a dorm every night.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am stoked to live in an apartment next year with my absolute best friends. And you definitely could have heard me saying “I am so over this whole dorm thing” once or twice this semester, but now I can’t help but see all the things I’ll miss.

Freshman year is just unique. You get this giant clean slate, a fresh start. And it is just waiting to see what you’ll do with it. It truly is a year of firsts. My first failure, the first time being on my own, my first time not knowing anyone in my classes. Yes, that can all be a lot to take on, I was terrified at the start of the school year. But before I knew it, I had a routine, I had friends, I had a life here.

And this life surpassed all my expectations. I have a home away from home. I have friends that I know will be my bridesmaids some day. I have experiences that I’ll never forget.

Now as I head back home for the summer I couldn’t be more excited to be with my friends there and my family. But, I also couldn’t be sadder to leave my friends here, even if it’s only for three months because they’ve become another kind of family.

Despite leaving freshman year behind, we have so many more memories to make whether it’s doing the Seminole chop in Doak, coordinating our Halloween costumes, or just chilling at the house. We’ve all come so far this year, and I can’t wait to see just how far we go. So bring it on Sophomore year, I’m ready for ya.

Cover Image Credit: Cameron Kira

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

To The High School Graduating Seniors

I know you're ready, but be ready.

20
views

Seniors,

I am not going to say anything about senioritis because I was ready to get out of there and I'm sure you are too; however, in your last months living at home you should take advantage of the luxuries you will not have in a college dorm. The part of college seen in movies is great, the rest of it is incredibly inconvenient. It is better to come to terms with this While you still have plenty of time to prepare and enjoy yourself.

Perhaps one of the most annoying examples is the shower. Enjoy your hot, barefoot showers now because soon enough you will have no water pressure and a drain clogged with other people's hair. Enjoy touching your feet to the floor in the shower and the bathroom because though it seems weird, it's a small thing taken away from you in college when you have to wear shoes everywhere.

Enjoy your last summer with your friends. After this summer, any free time you take is a sacrifice. For example, if you want to go home for the summer after your freshman year and be with your friends, you have to sacrifice an internship. If you sacrifice an internship, you risk falling behind on your resume, and so on. I'm not saying you can't do that, but it is not an easy choice anymore.

Get organized. If you're like me you probably got good grades in high school by relying on your own mind. You think I can remember what I have to do for tomorrow. In college, it is much more difficult to live by memory. There are classes that only meet once or twice a week and meeting and appointments in between that are impossible to mentally keep straight. If you do not yet have an organizational system that works for you, get one.

I do not mean to sound pessimistic about school. College is great and you will meet a lot of people and make a lot of memories that will stick with you for most of your life. I'm just saying be ready.

-A freshman drowning in work

Related Content

Facebook Comments