I have been obsessed with makeup for what you could say has been a long time. From raiding my mother’s makeup drawers as a little girl to raiding the shelves at Walgreens as a college student, makeup always seemed to be a generally consistent part of my life. If I ran out of time to do up my face, I’d pretend that I was invisible so I wouldn’t have to face the reality of people seeing me as I naturally am. I always made the excuse that “I should do what makes me feel good.” And that’s what I genuinely believed makeup did for me. However, this March, I finally decided that I wanted to be confident without adding another mask on top of the plethora of others that I already possess. I was going to give up the very foundation of my confidence, makeup. I did not expect it, but those 31 days have totally changed how I perceive myself, and my makeup.
Just to explain how it worked, I gave up all cosmetics except mascara for special events, as makeup is appropriate (and expected) in certain situations.
Week 1 was the hardest
I had to literally force myself out of the door post-face wash. I felt completely vulnerable and exposed without my ‘face paint.' I felt like everyone was staring at me and wondering, ‘Who is that girl?’ I felt faceless and lost in a sea of beautiful people.
Week 2 got better
I didn’t have to wake up that extra 10 minutes early to put on some quick ‘fixes’ to make me presentable. I was finally starting to understand that nothing about my face needs fixing and that I am beautiful without my makeup.
Week 3 and 4 felt normal
I was no longer defined by eye-catching, lip-popping colors or an even skin tone. Though, throughout this whole progression, people kept asking me if I was sick or tired, Week Three was the point when I think people began to realize that I was finally doing something for myself and that I wasn’t letting those comments affect how I viewed myself for that day.
The day after my No Makeup March was over, I decided to relieve myself and put on (pretty much) as much makeup as I could. As I walked over to my first class, I was judging myself profusely.
“Do you really need all this makeup?”
“Your skills are awful, everyone is going to stare.”
“Just, why?”
Though I did notice how I no longer relied on makeup to make me feel better, I no longer felt happy with my relationship with the cosmetic world. That’s when I everything 'clicked' and I realized that what matters is really based on having a wholesome view of your own self before makeup. If makeup really does make you feel more confident, work it, but don’t let it prohibit you from going exposed every once in a while.
Makeup does not define you. You define you.
So, here’s what I say to all the makeup users out there; balance out your love for yourself like a great foundation, blend your personality with your confidence like that perfect contour, strengthen your views of yourself and the world like that fancy mascara does to your lashes but, above all, love yourself completely, with or without makeup.
