They say time heals all wounds and I am a believer thus far of that statement. It’s been a year and a half since our break up, and I feel that I have finally healed from the heartbreak. I find solace in my writing usually, but I always knew that if I wrote about you while I was still healing that it would only be with words of anger and hurt. I did not want to write about you in that way though: I know that underneath all the pain and hurt and misunderstanding was a deep-rooted care I will always have for you. This is my letter to you.
I would first off like to thank you for all the good times we had when times were good. You were the first person I went to when it came to boy problems, period problems, or life problems. Thank you for being there for all the awkward times as well. Seventh-grade boys, eighth-grade bullies, the freshman homecoming dance, sophomore anxiety, junior boys, and most of all, our favorite bands and our emo phases. Senior year was supposed to be our time to shine, but things got rocky. You had changed, and I was okay with that, but you had just become a whole other person. I honestly didn’t know you anymore. I tried my best to adapt to this stranger who my best friend had become, but it was just a bit too trying for me. The complete about-faces you would pull were just too stressful to deal with.
I’ll admit, I was jealous. After everything we had been through, you were willing to throw everything we had away for some new friends who were new and exciting. It hurt me to see them hurt you, but it hurt, even more, to watch as you ran right back to them. I just didn’t understand. Remember, that care runs deep.
When I broke things off with you, I said the whole truth and it stung to see you try to turn things back around on me and make all the stressors in our friendship my fault. However, I was not going to take that and I stood my ground. I ended things by telling you I was done with all of the arguing and nothing changing. I left things open ended on purpose in case there was even a slight chance of you trying to pick things back up, but that didn’t happen. As I said before, that care runs deep.
In the end, cutting things off turned out to be an okay thing. We both grew and changed, and I don’t know about you, but I feel like I am stronger because of it. I know when to put my foot down and I know how I do and don’t want to be treated. You taught me things even if you didn’t realize it.
We’re reacquainted now, which I’m appreciative of. We see each other as we scroll through social media and like each other’s posts. I can tell that you’ve changed and grown even more, and I wish you well. The next time you see a post of mine, remember that the care that comes with a first best friend will always remain in the heart.
Your Ex-Best Friend