No, I'm Not A Family Person, Don't Call Me Weird

No, I'm Not A Family Person, Don't Call Me Weird

Blood isn't always thicker than water.

Family is a very complicated thing. There is never a time where everyone gets along.

They are always asking questions you don't want to answer, and they're usually judging your life choices even though they are the ones who shouldn't be.

Even so, most people are pretty close with their families, especially those in smaller towns like I grew up in.

My mom calls my Nana at least two times a week. My aunt calls my Nana every morning. My stepmom talks to her mom for hours every day, and my dad calls his parents once a week.

And they all see each other almost as often.

I, on the other hand, just came home for the first time since August, and I'm perfectly content with that. I have never been that close with my family, and the older I've gotten the more I stay away. I have my reasons, just like everyone else.

But, I often find that people look at me weirdly when I tell them I am not a family person.

"How can you not be close to them?" they ask me.

"You can't choose your family," they say, "might as well make the most of it."

"Blood is thicker than water."

Yeah, I call bullshit.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family, I really do. I want to see all of them when I'm home. I appreciate all of them and everything they do for me. But we have our drama like all families do.

And that drama has made me realize that sometimes they aren't there for my best interest.

My boyfriend is very close to his family. He and his sister tell their mom almost everything, and they always do things together. They talk to the rest of the family fairly regularly, too.

It has taken me a little while to get used to how close his family is. I know not everyone has family issues, but it seems more common than not nowadays.

It has always blown my mind that some people actually get along with and genuinely like their family.

I prefer talking to my family a few times a month. More so just for their sake so they know I'm still alive.

Some I don't talk to until I come back home from the semester. This year I didn't even go home for Thanksgiving break – I went to my boyfriend's.

It's not that I don't want to see them. It's because I don't want to deal with the questions and drama that comes with them – the reminders of all the things that have happened over the past year.

Things have happened this year that never should have happened. And for that reason, I choose to stay away.

They mean well, but sometimes they are worse than high school girls. They can be petty and nasty.

I love seeing my family, but I have no issue with not seeing them for long periods of time. It's just how I keep my sanity and make sure I'm not surprised when more shit goes down.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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I Drifted But Now I'm Reaching Out

I'm not going to isolate myself anymore.

I’ve noticed that since I started college, I dropped a lot of habits. Some were habits that I really needed to get rid of, such as picking at my nails and snacking way too much. Other habits, though, I really shouldn’t have dropped. Maybe I just got too busy or lazy, or maybe it was just something for the high school me. Yeah, I’ve changed a lot in college but I’m going to try and get back into the good habits I had.

College gave me a lot of time. Suddenly I had all this free time and I realized that it was entirely up to me what I wanted to do with it. The freedom is really great, I won’t deny that, but what I noticed was that I found myself alone a lot.

Maybe it was my intention that some days I just wanted some alone time, but more often than not I found myself realizing that I hadn’t seen or talked to friends in a while. I realized I wasn’t hanging out with people anymore. I was alone.

Now, I know the importance of myself reaching out. Before I always worried that there was a reason I wasn’t seeing or talking to people as often, I mean, there was school so maybe everyone was just busy.

But I feared that I was missing out on so much was because I was unwanted in those moments. After gaining confidence, I've decided won’t isolate myself anymore. I’m an outgoing person, but I won’t be selectively outgoing anymore.

In high school, I could barely go two classrooms down without seeing someone and stopping to talk to them, and I want college to be the same way. It’s really impossible to know everyone at your college but reaching out isn’t that hard for me to do, I’ve just been lazy. I haven’t put in as much effort as I should be putting in and I know that if I want to keep some of the amazing friendships that I currently have, I need to not be distant.

It’s easy to drift away when emotions and events start piling up. Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is just lay in bed and not think about my to-do lists and schedules and problems that I have.

Once I start doing that though, I get sucked in and it becomes so hard to get the energy to get up and move. I don’t want that to be the case anymore. I don’t want to hide away with the “what ifs” and speculation as to why I didn’t go or get invited. From now on, I’m just going to go, and then see what happens.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To My Best Friends, Thank You

I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

I have gone through many friends in the past few years, some that lasted a while some that only lasted a few months, but you know exactly when you found your perfect person, soulmate, best friend, the one that will never get away. It’s the friends that stick with you through the toughest times and stay.

The ones you call at 3:00 a.m. because you got into a fight with your boyfriend and can’t sleep and they stay on the phone until your ready to sleep. The ones that you can count on to pick you up because you need a ride no matter where you are.

Dear Best Friends,

I just wanted to thank you for being you and for letting me be me. Thank you for letting me feel so much like myself when I’m with you. Thank you for sharing in my happiest moments, and for listening to my saddest stories and giving compassion and empathy from wherever you are. Thank you for being the only person I ever want to confide in. Thank you for being the most beautiful person, inside and out.

Thank you for making the world a better place, just by being in it. Thank you for defining selfless, always putting others before yourself, you are going to change the world just as much as you have changed mine. Thank you for all the memories we made at Disney this year on our senior trip. Thank you for practically being my second Mom.

Thank you for setting the bar so high and making it impossible to find another friend as good as you. Thank you for making these past years we have been friends feel like forever and for giving me enough memories to last a lifetime, but not ending there.

Thank you for making me hurt when I miss you, but for taking the hurt away when I see you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the absolute privilege of being able to call you my best friend, thank you for being my person. Thank you for giving me these reasons, and a million more, to be thankful for.

I sometimes find myself looking back on my life and realizing how huge of a part you have played in keeping me steady when the rest of my world has been falling apart. How you have known what to say and do in the moments when I have felt all control slipping through my fingers.

Even if it’s just dropping everything and taking me for coffee, shopping and listening to me try to untangle the mess I call my life. Thank you for those days when the rest of the world is against me, for making me feel less alone. For believing every silly dream which enters my head and being excited for me about things which no one else understands. Thank you for always validating my emotions, for taking my side, for telling me when I’m wrong, for being honest.

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