I was 15 when my parents separated and later divorced. After 11 years of marriage, I figured they passed the divorce deadline and it was clear they’d be together forever. Although this was obviously untrue, I refuted the idea of divorce because I thought it was just an escape from my parents’ problems. I was a strong believer in the fact that married couples are together through thick and thin until one of them dies. At least, that’s what both of them promised. So, I assumed my parents broke their promises to each other and life was over as we knew it.
Although a somewhat morose statement, I’ve accepted the fact that some people just shouldn’t be married forever. No-fault divorce is becoming increasingly common, but not for any wrong reasons. Putting the blame on couples who couldn’t “follow through” with their marriages is not the idea society should be following. Anti-divorce advocates should begin to understand that separation is ultimately a more settling and smarter decision than living around and with unhappy couples. Everyone deserves happiness, no matter how long it lasts.
No-fault divorce was introduced to almost every state in America by the 1970s, letting couples separate for reasons more trivial than abuse or adultery. Groups, mostly religious, Christian groups, were infuriated by this. Their response: why even get married in the first place? Why call it “wedlock” if “till death do us part” doesn’t mean anything?
To this, I say time influences change. Society influences change. Relationships influence change. Modernity is one of the most incredible things our country has to offer, even if it means family units aren’t the picture perfect suburbia it was in the 1950s anymore. Truthfully, I wish my parents were happily together. However, I’d rather them be happily divorced and remarried to other people than be unhappily married for the rest of their lives. A destructive relationship isn’t worth suffering through, and living with someone you lost love for isn’t something that should remain permanent.
I’m also upset by the idea that people are convinced divorce is tearing American families apart. If anything, it’s influencing future generations to choose their spouses carefully, marry later, and procreate later as well. I think it’s important to realize that no-fault divorce has enabled us to start over and kind of enable us to truly chase our own little American Dream. It’s there for us when we make mistakes and need a way out of our rash decisions, or simply for a clean slate.
I’m a big supporter in marriage and happiness, but they go hand in hand. If a couple is not happy together, separation is something worth coping with. People drift apart and circumstances change relationships. I’ve noticed that explicitly through my parents’ divorce and I’ve come to terms with the fact that time makes relationships variable. I think it’s important to realize that; “forever” is an absolute term that shouldn’t have to describe a marriage. Modernity has changed how we as a society has lived; marriage isn’t something that has or will stay the same in a changing world.
