Having two moms has gradually become more prevalent as America progresses, so I think I should share a little known fact that most of us, as children of lesbian mothers, agree on. We have lesbian mothers, and no, we do not want to find our sperm donor.
I am asked on a regular basis if I ever want to find my sperm donor and I’m sorry to say, but I don’t. I don’t mind being asked at all, but there is no need to go out and find “my dad.” My sperm donor is not, nor ever will be, “my dad.” He simply supplied the ingredients I needed to come into this world. The only parents I need are the women who raised me.
Likewise, my sperm donor submitted himself anonymously—like most do—so I am quite certain that he does not want to be a stranger’s father anytime soon. Yes, I am grateful for his involvement to create a wonderful masterpiece (aka me), but that is the only involvement he will have.
Talking about this reminds me of the 2010 film, "The Kids Are All Right." Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Julianne Moore, but it inaccurately portrays the life of children with lesbian mothers. No, we don’t find our sperm donors that easily, and no, our mom does not have an affair with the sperm donor. Being one of the first major motion pictures to portray a lesbian-led household, it hurts me that this is the first narrative they would like to share about our type of family. I understand they wrote these outrageous scenes for box office purposes, but it unfairly places a stereotype on my family.
Popular networks such as MTV are now making money off such reality shows where teenagers find their sperm donor. I find this incredibly disrespectful as they are feeding off of every child’s curiosity and using it to their advantage. This could hurt families as you are bringing a stranger in claiming they’re your family and not the ones that raised you. As you can see, the media needs to stop misrepresenting an untrue stereotype. They may seem that they are creating visibility on an obscure issue, but in all reality, they are labeling, as children with a sperm donor, that we need a father in our lives.
All in all, I am fully content with my two moms. They have been the best parents ever to me, so I am perfectly fulfilled without knowing who my sperm donor is. Of course, there are important things I know about my sperm donor, including his medical history, but I do not need to know him personally. My moms are outstanding role models for me and I couldn’t be more appreciative. So, I don’t need a father figure in my life, but I do need us all to finally crush this stereotype that having a sperm donor does not mean we need to find him.
