There was no cake. No luscious frosting to scrape off with the tip of my finger, fearfully looking around to make sure my crime remains unseen. Or candles to blow in hope for my wishes to come true. Moreover, many of my friends who don't have a Facebook account had forgotten to wish me a happy birthday altogether, — which I am not mad about, because if they did know what day it was, they would have certainly said something. All I did during that day was get a fresh haircut and attend a film festival organized by my friends, not in my name.
On the day of my birthday, sunlight-heated New York City thawed out after a prolonged winter, and a street food market blossomed in my neighborhood. The air smelled of joy, which we had tucked away in the back of our drawers along with summer clothing until then. It was contagious. For the first time in months, I managed to get urgent assignments out of my head and not give in to the what-if-I-fail-my-classes-don't-graduate-and-end-up-unemployed stress. People should be allowed not to work on their birthday, I thought.
This year, I realized that the importance and solemnity of this celebration are not undermined by the absence of a cake, candles, and friends gathered around a table, singing the traditional Happy Birthday song. Who needs artificial embellishments and pomposity when their daily life has on the overall been a turmoil of exciting events and personal growth? Birthdays serve the purpose of making a break in our routine. They present an occasion to indulge in an extra high-calorie piece of bakery, which we wouldn't allow ourselves under different circumstances.
Keeping my birthday private made the celebration all about myself. This year, it required no preparations: no party planning, no restaurant reservations, and no running through my friend list to decide who is "friend" enough to get invited, or how many people to invite in order not to seem a loner, no making fearful predictions of how many will be able to show up. In anticipation of our birthday, we annually acknowledge the evolution of our social circle and popularity. We attempt to throw on a memorable party to show that we are cared for. We post pictures on various social media, as if to confirm that balloons did get blown up, joy was felt, and the celebration did turn our just how it ought to.
Only in the taxi taking us home around 11 p.m. did I mention my birthday to the people who had surrounded me the whole evening, and received due wishes. Were they my closest friends? -- No. But our social circle is so inconstant, especially in college where our schedules change every semester, that it was no big deal.
I used to overvalue the social aspect of my life and not dedicate enough attention to my own needs and desires. Today, what I endeavor to do is have a great time. With whoever destiny sends my way.
