A Nit-Picker's Guide To Nit-Picking

A Nit-Picker's Guide To Nit-Picking

I'm not hard to please, I'm just looking for perfection.
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I'm a nit-picker.

Nit-picking is my way of self-improving. Because of this way, I ensure that nothing in its entirety will ever truly impress me, and because of that disposition, I use every moment of dissatisfaction as a means to constantly sharpen my eye for improvement.

I think- scratch that- I KNOW I'm like this because of two factors: my mother being a therapist and my being an actress.

My trained skill to pick-apart performances, in search of how to make them better, has given me this societally unpleasant title of "Nit-Picker", "The Perfectionist", and "Godzilla of Group Projects."

While it may sound harsh and critical, to live consistently unimpressed, my mother's therapeutic positivity towards helping me understand how to solve my own issues in life has gifted me with a self-bettering spin towards my criticalness.

This ability to key-in on my own shortcomings, in combination with my understanding of how to build the steps needed to achieve fulfillment is my secret to success, and now it can be yours too!

So, here's my guide on how to be a self-bettering nit-picker like yours truly!

To achieve the constant battle that is reaching, in my case, very VERY highly set goals, correcting minute imperfections when they arise rather than condoning their appearance helps halt the inevitable build-up of molehills into mountains of self-deprecation.

For example, when I see my behavior or attitude slipping, as a nit-picker I always notice it. But noticing's not enough, the tell-tale sign of a true fusspot (Don't you just love that? Fusspot? What a synonym!) is the hyper-focusing on the slippage. You need to train yourself to stop condoning the little but unsatisfactory things of your life to the point of taking action to cut them out.

Honestly! Try today somehow to shake yourself out of any a current, unfulfilling, and sordid routine! What too much tv? Try change. Want to learn to cook? Try change. Want to be a better painter? Try change.

Remember how many new things we tried when we were little? Wake that You up! Put on your exuberant toddler optimism and curiosity and desire to do everything under the sun!

Even just a little change will evoke in you a new energy to achieve and succeed the goals you just “never have time or motivation to do”.

Along with physically enacting change comes the mental reframing. Action without the mental correction in your perspective leads to started goals and relapses into upsettingly "okay and comfortable" lifestyles.

See, a misconception about being a nit-picker is that we're self-deprecatingly critical. If that's you- check yourself. Now. If you want positive reformation in your life, you can't just start with hating what's wrong with you. That framing is just a no-no. You have to accept what you have got to work with, not with what's inherently "wrong" with you.

With me, I'm "open."

For those of you at home, human traits have been simplified into five main categories- and my big identifier is “Openness”. Find out where you fall on the spectrum of these big five with this scientifically-baked personality test!

Now, I use my openness (creative, original, curious, insightful, etc.) as fodder for the conception and execution of my very niche goals constantly. My creativity makes me want to be in a play while my need to be original makes me want to be the one to write that play. It’s perfect. I know the type of person I am, I accept it, I apply it to my trying change, I reach self-actualization.

The same can be seen in several studies run by scientists Harper and Larson. Participants were asked to list traits they currently possess, list traits they wished to possess, and then rate the extent of their possession over these traits. They noted how greater acceptance of possession corresponded with the greater positivity of the individual’s attitude. The outcome of this longitudinal research found that self-actualization is the precursor to a healthy and positive well-being.

In other words, the more the individual approves of the “me” they are, the better quality of life they lead.

So, as long as you accept yourself, can you find happiness. And if happiness to you means meeting certain goals, then, get cracking on accepting yourself. Only then can you begin to use your pre-laden strengths to reach the goals, all the while being positive and excited about the journey.

However, with every pro comes its con. Acceptance alone doesn’t lead people to their goals.

A lazy person can’t just accept that they’re lazy or else their goal of cleaning the house will never get done. They do however need to accept their quality, as to not begin a spiral of deprecating self-hate, and then work to improve that quality.

It is in acceptance that happiness is found, but in positive change, that progress is made.

By following this idea to work towards self-betterment of our trait, can we discover the quality of our own self-actualization and enact the change we seek within ourselves.

Now, just work at it. This change can only be sought with constant application and effort by you. Try a change, accept your unique gifts, reframe your perspective, and you’ll be set for a new life of nit-picking, fault finding, backseat driving, and most importantly, living the life you always wanted to live.

The time will pass no matter what, so why not start today to become the you that you have always wanted to be?

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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So, You Want To Be A Nurse?

You're going to find that nursing isn't really about the medicine or the assessments. Being a nurse is so much more than anything that you can learn in school. Textbooks can't teach you compassion and no amount of lecture time will teach you what it truly means to be a nurse.

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To the college freshman who just decided on nursing,

I know why you want to be a nurse.

Nurses are important. Nursing seems fun and exciting, and you don't think you'll ever be bored. The media glorifies navy blue scrubs and stethoscopes draped around your neck, and you can't go anywhere without hearing about the guaranteed job placement. You passed AP biology and can name every single bone in the human body. Blood, urine, feces, salvia -- you can handle all of it with a straight face. So, you think that's what being a nurse is all about, right? Wrong.

You can search but you won't find the true meaning of becoming a nurse until you are in the depths of nursing school and the only thing getting you through is knowing that in a few months, you'll be able to sign the letters "BSN" after your name...

You can know every nursing intervention, but you won't find the true meaning of nursing until you sit beside an elderly patient and know that nothing in this world can save her, and all there's left for you to do is hold her hand and keep her comfortable until she dies.

You'll hear that one of our biggest jobs is being an advocate for our patients, but you won't understand until one day, in the middle of your routine physical assessment, you find the hidden, multi-colored bruises on the 3-year-old that won't even look you in the eyes. Your heart will drop to your feet and you'll swear that you will not sleep until you know that he is safe.

You'll learn that we love people when they're vulnerable, but you won't learn that until you have to give a bed bath to the middle-aged man who just had a stroke and can't bathe himself. You'll try to hide how awkward you feel because you're young enough to be his child, but as you try to make him feel as comfortable as possible, you'll learn more about dignity at that moment than some people learn in an entire lifetime.

Every class will teach you about empathy, but you won't truly feel empathy until you have to care for your first prisoner in the hospital. The guards surrounding his room will scare the life out of you, and you'll spend your day knowing that he could've raped, murdered, or hurt people. But, you'll walk into that room, put your fears aside, and remind yourself that he is a human being still, and it's your job to care, regardless of what he did.

Each nurse you meet will beam with pride when they tell you that we've won "Most Trusted Profession" for seventeen years in a row, but you won't feel that trustworthy. In fact, you're going to feel like you know nothing sometimes. But when you have to hold the sobbing, single mother who just received a positive breast cancer diagnosis, you'll feel it. Amid her sobs of wondering what she will do with her kids and how she's ever going to pay for treatment, she will look at you like you have all of the answers that she needs, and you'll learn why we've won that award so many times.

You'll read on Facebook about the nurses who forget to eat and pee during their 12-hour shifts and swear that you won't forget about those things. But one day you'll leave the hospital after an entire shift of trying to get your dying patient to eat anything and you'll realize that you haven't had food since 6:30 A.M. and you, too, will be one of those nurses who put everything else above themselves.

Too often we think of nursing as the medicine and the procedures and the IV pumps. We think of the shots and the bedpans and the baths. We think all the lab values and the blood levels that we have to memorize. We think it's all about the organs and the diseases. We think of the hospitals and the weekends and the holidays that we have to miss.

But, you're going to find that nursing isn't really about the medicine or the assessments. Being a nurse is so much more than anything that you can learn in school. Textbooks can't teach you compassion, and no amount of lecture time will teach you what it truly means to be a nurse.

So, you think you want to be a nurse?

Go for it. Study. Cry. Learn everything. Stay up late. Miss out on things. Give it absolutely everything that you have.

Because I promise you that the decision to dedicate your life to saving others is worth every sleepless night, failed test, or bad day that you're going to encounter during these next four years. Just keep holding on.

Sincerely,

The nursing student with just one year left.

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The 7 Best Pieces Of Advice I Have Been Given About Life

Some of the best advice I have been given over the years...

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There isn't a central theme among these pieces of advice or sayings. They are all just random things I have been told over the course of my life–especially in the last week. I find these 7 to be particularly helpful in various situations, and try to keep them in mind when I am in over my head.

1. "Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself because there is nobody who is going to help you more than you."

You are the #1 person who can help your own case. No one knows you as you do, therefore no one will be able to help you more than you can help yourself. A lot of things are mental, so once you can convince yourself that you deserve something (whatever it may be) you can convince anyone. Another saying goes along with this, on the flip side: "No one can diminish you but yourself." You are in control of your own self-perception, and you are very much capable of being your own worst enemy.

2. "Stand behind your reputation because you can never get it back."

My mom sent this to me the other day. Be who you are, and do it proudly. Especially with meeting people for the first time, you can never have a second chance at a first impression. That being said, if people view you in a bad light, figure out why that is and fix it. You may not be able to change someones initial thoughts of you, but you can change the way they view you after that.

3. "The best things in life happen unexpectedly."

"Life is what happens when you're busy making plans," also goes along with this. Trying to plan out every little detail of your life is only going to lead to disappointment. Sometimes you find the best things/what you're looking for when you're not actually looking. Just go through the motions and things will work out the way they are supposed to.

4. "Be proud of your accomplishments, no matter how small."

It's important to celebrate the little things. Did you go to class today? Good for you. Did you decide to drink water instead of a soda? That's awesome. How are you going to work up to doing bigger and better things if you don't have anywhere to start?

5. "Whatever you're stressing about now probably won't matter in five years."

As someone who is often eaten away by their own worry and anxiety, this is a mantra that I try to constantly remind myself. While it may seem like a big deal now, you need to keep in mind the bigger picture. Will it matter in 5 hours? 5 days? 5 months? And so on. If the answer is no to ANY of these questions, it's probably not worth beating yourself up over.

6. "Stop being the 'go to' person for someone you can't go to."

Someone tweeted that their pastor said this to them and the tweet went viral. A friend of mine sent it to me, and it really made me think. Something I have struggled with over the years is making excuses for people who don't show up for me when I am constantly there for them. This is a helpful reminder that if they aren't contributing to you and your life, you shouldn't have to bend over backward to help them out and be in their lives.

7. "Two wrongs don't make a right."

While this is often a saying that parents use on their young children, it is applicable to pretty much any stage of life. My parents, especially my dad, have constantly said this, whether it was in reference to fighting with my siblings or dealing with people at school. Even as a 20-year-old, I find myself saying this when I hear about arguments and problems people are having. Everyone wants to get even, to best those who hurt them. While it's important to stick up for yourself, it is also important to be the bigger person and not stoop to their level (and whatever else your parents told you in these situations).

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