It's that time of the night again, when you start pondering that ever longing question, "Why the f*** did I go to school in the coldest place on planet earth?"
Yes, Binghamton Bearcats, college nightlife everywhere salutes you. When you're back in your dorm picking the frost out of your belly button, pat yourself on the back, your dedication is outstanding. And when you realize the belly button you're digging into isn't yours, give yourself another pat, you deserve it.
What is a night out if you don't think you've gotten hypothermia at least twice? Unless your desperation for warmth oversees getting into a marked car with a money-hungry fat man, you stand no chance against a bearcat. Because you know where you go to school is cold when -15-degree wind chill is crop top season.
Here are a few facts only Binghamton go-outers can understand:
1. You are a nice person, you smile at people you see regularly, you hold the door open for others, but when it comes to getting on a blue bus at 3 a.m. in a desperate attempt to get back to campus, you are meaner than the damn Juicer from "Cory in the House."
Nothing is worse than those crowded bus lines. Everyone is all calm and friendly in line until you see those damn headlights down the block. Then all of a sudden everyone starts swarming to the front of the line like ants to a syrup waffle. Hair is being pulled, girls start yelling, guys start yelling, before you know it you are in the middle being suffocated, wondering if this is how you're going to die.
Finally, if and when you get on that bus, you somehow become best friends with everyone who made it on, high-fiving others like "it was tough out there, happy to see you made it." And to those who didn't, "sucks to be them." When getting on the bus is more eventful than some of your nights out, you know you go to Binghamton.
2. Sodexo sucks!
But something happens in that kitchen from the hours of 1-3 a.m. that magically changes the food from a solid 1.5 to a full on 10. Not sure if it's the blood alcohol level of the students who are eating it or just straight up magic, but those chicken quesadillas are as worthy as five-star caviar and as scarce as potatoes in 1849 Ireland.
3. For the unlucky hundreds who don't get on that 3 a.m. bus, life's biggest question creeps upon them.
They have only $5 left, do they get a slice of pizza from Pasquale's and wait for the next bus or do they give in and get a $4 cab home?
Rookies will wait for the bus, let hunger win the battle, but the veterans of State Street know that the 3:15 bus is even harder to get on and frankly it's not worthy the battle. That five-minute cab ride is bittersweet and damn does the warmth feel good, but damn that pizza looked pretty good, too.
For all those who choose to go out on nights when the weather drops to -25 degrees (-25 is when the weather is so low that Fahrenheit and Celsius are the same), stay sane and remember, mind over matter.
