New Years Resolutions That Are Never Kept

New Years Resolutions That Are Never Kept

New year, new us... for the first month of the year at least.
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At the start of a new year, we all make a list of things that we want to accomplish in the new year. For a lot of people, the lists appear to be similar. And while these goals are worked on for a little bit, most of the time they do not actually continue to be accomplished as the year goes on. For some they last a week, for others a month, but rare is it that people keep up with their goals during the entire course of the year. Below is a list that will probably look pretty similar to what yours may have looked like for a few years, but that you tend to slip up on as the year progresses.


1. I'm going to work out every day and get into shape.


2. I'm going to eat healthy and give up junk food.


3. I'm going to give up social media and focus on seeing more of the real world.


4. I'm going to work on self love and having confidence in myself.


5. I'm going to clean out my closet and give clothes away to those who need them more than me.


6. I'm going to go out more with friends rather than lay in bed and watch Netflix.


7. I'm going to let go of those in my life who don't appreciate me.


8. I'm going to focus on school and study every day.


9. I'm going to give up cussing and saying bad things.


10. I'm going to stop procrastinating so much.


11. I'm going to work a lot and save my money wisely.


12. I'm going to get more than four hours of sleep every night.


13. I'm going to be independent and focus on me and forget about being in a relationship.


14. I'm going to travel outside of my comfort zone more.


15. I'm going to show up early to everything and stop sleeping in until two in the afternoon.


Happy New Year! May your resolutions last more than two weeks!

Cover Image Credit: crosswalk.com

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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How Getting Better Feels When Going Through Hard Times

You need courage and hope to travel the road to recovery.

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It's scary.

You want to tell people that today you managed to do more than you've done in the last week. You want someone to be proud of you. But you don't want to get their hopes up. Or yours, frankly. You don't want to tell them things are getting better when you know it's very possible that tomorrow everything will all crumble apart again.

It's worrying about bothering your friends even more when you know you've already over-shared too many times. It's worrying they'll give up on you. It's wanting to give up on yourself.

It's exhausting.

You can't help but feel like you will fall again. You don't know how soon it will be before you're back at the bottom of the ravine. You don't know how far you will climb back up before you slip again. And it's tempting to fall early on this time. Because the higher you climb the harder the inevitable fall will be. You're so close to the bottom that if you fell it wouldn't hurt so bad. At least you'd be on solid ground even if you can't see anything. You could just stay down there forever and save yourself so much work and pain.

You start to see how much work is ahead of you. Problems you had to put off or couldn't deal with start to fade back into imminent existence. Getting back up means doing more than the bare minimum to survive. And even though you want that, and you feel like things are getting better you're still filled with apathy for doing anything more than barely existing.

It feels directionless.

You're starting to get better but now what? What do you do first? What's the long-term goal? Do you even have one anymore? You lost all your aspirations trying to survive day-to day. You could reinvent yourself. Be reborn into a version of yourself that doesn't feel empty and sad all the time. But what would you fill yourself up with? Besides the unhealthy coping mechanisms you've been trying so hard to quit?

You still feel alone. Despite starting to socialize more and returning to the old pieces of your life, you still feel like an outsider. You still feel like you don't belong and you just want to hide away because you can't relate to other people and their experiences anymore.

It's like being a stranger in your own life.

It's as if for just one moment all the rain and wind stops and you can see for the first time as all the mist starts to clear. And you can't help but wonder if it only means you're in the eye of the hurricane instead of the end of the storm. And in the depths of your mind and oh-so-broken heart you know it's the former. You know that even though things are getting better it is not the end. You know this isn't the last time you will have to wipe the dust off your shoes and try again. And it's so hard to see the point of getting back up.

And you also know that you don't have a choice. You have to climb to get stronger for the next time you fall. One day you might make it to the top of the cliffs and see something so wonderful and so much more than you could ever hope for; but only if you keep climbing and falling and getting stronger Until then, it's hard to carry on.

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