If there is one thing that everyone can relate to it is the feeling of needing to promise to better yourself for the new year every December 31st. Everyone seems to feel the need to make a list of faults that they need to work on or a list of goals they want to achieve by the next time a new year comes rolling around the corner. However, I don't believe that making these resolutions helps anyone achieve an sort of change realistically.

You don't need a holiday to convince yourself that you are going to start going to the gym more often, or that you are going to eat healthier. You don't need to wait for the first of the new year to quit smoking or to start saving more money. These are all things that you could try to start doing at any give part of the year. I am not innocent when it comes to making resolutions for the new year. I usually don't but this year I said I am going to quit smoking for the new year. This scares me a little because I now feel like if I screw up it's going to be seen as this huge failure.

This is one of the reasons that I don't feel like New Years resolutions work. When people make one tiny slip up they quit completely and say "Well there's always next year". When someone falls off the wagon that is their new years resolution they feel like they can just give up entirely and wait until the next New Years Eve to make the same promises all over again.

According to Timothy Pychyl, most people decide to make resolutions as a way to motivate them to reinvent themselves. However, most people are not ready to change their bad habits and ultimately wind up backsliding sometime after February. Professor Peter Herman has identified this as "false hope syndrome" which means that ones resolutions are unrealistic and completely out of alignment with their views of themselves. The inevitable outcome of trying to make resolutions can also lead to damaging your self-esteem. This lines up with a lot of what I said before. People make these resolutions that are unrealistic and when they fail they feel bad about themselves. They feel like they've failed and that is damaging to the human mind. We already live in such a judgmental society, yet every year we open ourselves to be judgmental of ourselves and add to the stress we feel everyday to be perfect.

There are a few New Years Resolutions that have apparently become notorious for not working out for people:

1. "I'm Going to Lose Weight"

This is one that is known to fail because bad eating habits and not going to the gym are hard patterns to break. Some better resolutions you could make would be "I'm going to make one change to the way I eat," or "I'm going to go to the gym three times a week," or even I'm going to log what I eat so I can get a better idea of what I need to change about my diet." All of these changes are small and easy to make and can put you on the right track to larger changes.

2. "I'm Going to Save Money and Spend Less"

This is a very vague promise to make to yourself. And also a very easy one to break. Everyone has that "treat your self" mentality and that can screw up the resolution to not spend too much money. So easier and more specific ones you could make could be "I'm going to make and stick to a monthly/weekly budget", or "I'm going to set aside a specific amount of money each week", or "I am going to cut down the cost of certain bills -- i.e electric bill, heating bill, etc. -- ".

3. "I'm Going to Be Happier"

This one is so vague it is almost impossible to uphold. You can't promise that you are going to be happier because there are going to be moments in life that you can't control that are going to make you unhappy. Some realistic goals that you can set would be "I am going to take a real vacation this year" or "I am going to learn a new skill this year". Set goals for you to accomplish something that will add to your life. Something that will make you proud of yourself once you have accomplished it.

4. "I Want to Be a Better Person"

This is yet another vague resolution that is easily broken. We are all human, we make mistakes. You could make resolutions such as "I am going to work on controlling my anger", or "I am going to start meditating". You cant promise that other people are going to see you as a better person but you can promise that you are going to work on feeling better about yourself.