Friends VS. College: The Challenge Of Finding Yourself

Friends VS. College: The Challenge Of Finding Yourself

At times, it hard to leave the ones you care about the most behind.

It's coming to that time of year when high school seniors get back their acceptance letters from the colleges and universities they've applied to over the course of the past four-plus months. The anxieties of opening acceptance or rejection letters, there comes down to the choice of which college to attend. Despite the academic factors, social interactions have the capability to make or break someone's college experience; so when finding a school that meets to a students social needs is as important as academics.

Through this need of a social circle in a new chapter of a student's life, many students stick to the same social circles in high school. From planning out which one of you high school besties are going to be your roommate to picking out classes together, the future just seems more stable knowing you're not going into the dark, unknown abyss of college alone.

But I believe that it is through this adjustment to the unstable that our true personalities shine.

During the spring of my senior year, I decided to attend a small, liberal arts college on the prairie of west-central Minnesota. Whenever I'd bring up of the name of the college, nearly everyone responded, "where is that?" My college is not the most well known school in Minnesota but it was the perfect fit for me: a close community, phenomenal scholarship offers and an atmosphere that made me feel like home. Where people saw another small-town university, I saw my dream college. The only thing that I found was a concerning factor was the fact that I was the only one of my school, and friend group for that matter, that was attending this college. While I decided on a campus out of state, many of my friends either decided to go to a local state college or lay off school for a semester. My greatest fear of attending college was that I was going to be alone.

Often I would contemplate giving up my dream school to attend my state's college just so I wouldn't be so far away from my friends. But no matter where I looked, these state schools didn't compare to the fit that my dream schools had to me. I was at a crossroad. In the end, I decided to take a leap of faith and venture out into the next stage of my life on my own. And I can confidently say it was the best decision I could have made for myself.

Going to a "new-start" college allowed me to step out of my comfort zone. At times, it was hard experiencing life on my own without my strong network of friends by my side. But it re-enforced my self confidence through trying new things, meeting new people, finding my own interests and most importantly discovering who I was as a human being.

But I never lost contact with my closest friends. Although miles away, phone calls and texts became our lifeline. It reassured me that through the distance between us, we were still an important aspect of our relationships. Through this I became aware that I wasn't just afraid of being alone, but being forgotten. The years I have spent with my friends from elementary to high school I feared the thought of losing the people who I cared for most dearly. But it was through that friendship that I found the support to live my life to the fullest, even if that meant going to school hours away from them. My closest friends were my biggest supporters and through that they motivated me to seek out my fullest potential.

College is a beautiful time in life to venture out and explore the next stage of your life. At times, it's hard to move on from the love and security that your friends give you. But if they are your true friends, they will stay. They will continue to support you no matter where you go and believe in you and your dreams. At times it is important to remember that it's okay to let go. Your life isn't solely determined through the relationships you build, but the relationship and respect you have for yourself in order to grow and thrive.

Cover Image Credit: Katie Duncan

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Even Though It Wasn't Supposed To Be A Breakup Album, "Melodrama" Is All About Being The Victim In A Breakup

Lordes Melodrama perfectly describes the heartbreak stages through her own powerful songs and lyrics.

Lorde got her name out there and drew in thousands of fans when her first album "Pure Heroine," hit the charts. Lorde took a break from all the hype and spotlight to recover from her breakup with photographer James Lowe.

After nearly 5 years of not releasing music, her single "Green Light" was released and said to be specifically about James. Shortly after Green Light came out was when "Melodrama" was released. While "Melodrama" isn't said to be a breakup album, there are hints and clues that tie together the process in her breakup with James.

1."Green Light"

Again, Lorde admits this song is exactly about "her first major heartbreak." She says "This song is really about those moments kind of immediately after your life changes and about all the silly little things that you gravitate towards". If you listen to and analyze the lyrics you can tell that she is calling him out for his wrongdoings and not staying true to his word of never falling out of love.

2. "Sober"

To clear her head and forget of all the hurt in her heart, she goes to a party to distract herself. Notice the lyric "These are the games of the weekend; we pretend that we just don't care." She's fresh single, and she's going to take that to her full advantage for the night.

3. "Homemade Dynamite"

One of the most fun and energetic songs off of this album, "Homemade Dynamite" appears to be about meeting someone at the party she's at and feeling a spark which turns into an explosively good time, aka a rebound. She "doesn't know him super well" but thinks something good could come out of this. The lyrics "Seeing me rolling showing someone else love" could mean that she hopes to have James see that she's messing around with someone else and that he should be jealous.

4. "The Louvre"

This is Lorde reflecting on the happier times yet regretting all she sacrificed to keep him happy. "Blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you" indicates that she put him before her friends when she shouldn't have. But she also says "We're the greatest, they'll hang us in the Louvre." She wants to believe her love was as beautiful and everlasting as the museum.

5. "Liability"

"Liability" is all about Lorde. This song is her coming to realize that what's done is done and she needs to take this season of life to focus on herself. While people come and go she will always have herself, so might as well learn to feel good about you again.

6. "Hard Feelings/Loveless"

"Hard feelings" are the emotions of sad and sorrow after Lordes breakup. "Loveless" is the song to remind her that she's an absolute badass who doesn't need anyone but herself to keep her sane and happy.

7. "Sober II (Melodrama)"

"Sober II" ties in with "Sober" that was previously mentioned. The lyric "You asked if I was feeling it, I'm psycho high" is taken as Lorde's friend asking if she "was feeling it" last night at the party she attended. She reminisces on the previous night (or her past relationship) and "How fast the evening passed." She was having the time of her life, and now it's over.

8. "Writer In The Dark"

James has moved on and Lorde is devastated. She says at the beginning of this song "Break the news you're walking out, to be a good man for someone else." She still holds love for James, but she is trying to love herself again too while accepting that he is with someone new.

9. "Supercut"

Lorde is looking at what went wrong because she thought it was all fine. The lyrics "In my head, I do everything right, when I call I forgive and not fight" tell us so. She's thinking of the times in her relationship that made her smile.

10. "Perfect Places"

This song is about the great escape. Kind of similar to "Sober", "Perfect Places" is also about a getaway night and going to their utopian destination to flee the pain. While the adventure is fun at the moment, Lorde is then reminded that this feeling is only temporary and sooner or later she will go back to feeling the pain of heartbreak. However, in previous songs, she states that she is going to work on herself and while the partying and fun is temporary, the heartbreak she is feeling is temporary too.

Cover Image Credit: NewStatesman

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17 Legitimate Questions To Help You Figure Out What Your Crush Thinks Of You

He or She really does like you! Right?

This article is a collaboration between several authors, including Kashvi Mundra, Alma Maldonado, Divya Joshi, Jasmine Hsieh and Angelica Santiago.

Crushes can be one of the most confusing and enlightening experiences in your life, and your feelings will usually fluctuate way too often, from happy and free to heartbroken. Even though it’s supposed to happen, you may sometimes feel frustrated and ask why it happens and why you’re the only person that feels this way. But have you ever noticed these signs coming from the one you fancy? It may mean you both are something more than just acquaintances or friends.

1. Do their pupils dilate when they look at you? Does their body language signal this as well, like their feet and body being pointed toward you?

Feelings affect a person’s physical state a lot. They may subconsciously be showing all these signs and not even know it. This includes blushing when they're talking to you, or leaning in for a conversation and looking at you straight in the eye. It may feel like they're looking deep inside you if you hold eye contact for a particularly long time.

Also, how much do they stare at you? Do they watch you and quickly look away? Or do they look over to you and laugh if something funny has happened?

2. Do they sometimes talk to you about the most random things?

This is when they just turn to you and ask about the game that was last night...when you weren't even looking at them.

3. If you can find out, do they treat you differently than others?

Basically, do they offer you advice for things you're stressed about or offer to carry your books? Do they try to make you feel better if something didn't work out or smile at you a lot?

Pay attention to this, because everyone treats people differently, and the best way to analyze them is observing their personality. Are they always like this with everyone or is it just you?

4. Are they “always there?"

This is especially a big reason if you are observant and always pay attention to them. They may even try to call attention to themselves when you're around just to see if you listen, especially if they're particularly outgoing.

5. Do you and your friends always find them looking towards your direction?

Direction is always important. Oftentimes, they would face in your direction because it’s the best view to look at you discreetly. Just a quick look straight ahead, and you would barely even notice.

6. Do they ask for a lot of help at school, even with the most basic questions?

Asking you questions is the only way they can talk to you. They would find the most basic questions just to get a chance to look at you without trying to be sly about it.

7. Are they very curious about who you like and ask often?

Try and analyze your conversations with them from time to time. Sometimes, they may ask you casually if you’re interested in anyone. It also depends on the tone. If they appear to be a little disappointed if you say you like someone, there’s a good chance they like you.

8. If you have mutual friends, do those friends ever tell you that they talk about you a lot?

This can be in a positive and negative way. Some people will trash talk their crushes just to talk about them without giving away the fact that they like them. It’s good to compare this to the way they treat you; if they are nice to you when it’s just you but you always hear about them talking about your flaws, they may like you but aren’t ready to admit it.

9. Are they talking or wanting to hang out with you more often?

This means they call and text you for no reason, and this is much easier to see if they aren’t already friends with you. They may even try to become friends, even if you’re from completely different social groups.

10. Do they ask for advice on a crush? (It may be you they’re asking about!)

Do be careful with this, they may speak vaguely, so be sure to ask follow-up questions to narrow it down.

11. Are they looking a bit more groomed (shower/cologne/hair fixed) than usual around you?

Everyone always wants to look good around their crush. Just a quick shower after shaving and picking out a clean, fresh outfit will surely catch your eye; at least, that’s what they’re hoping to do.

12. Do they straight up tell you that they like you and/or ask you out?

This is the most obvious sign anyone can ever receive. If they tell you they like you and/or ask you out, say yes!

13. Do they trust you with information about them that no one else knows about?

This means they will usually reveal their life goals and what they do just to impress you, or they'll rant to you about themselves because they see you as someone who can help.

14. Do their friends tease them a lot about you?

If you definitely see their friends treat them differently when you’re around or try to set you up somewhere, it’s a pretty sure sign that they’ve told their friends about you (and friends make big deals about everything)!

15. There isn’t anyone else in the picture, right?

Is there someone they hang around just as much as you?

Are they friends or more than that?

16. Are they abnormally interested in your life and ask a lot of questions about you?

This is because many people feel like the easiest way to get close with someone is to know as much about them as possible. If they are interested in your life goals, what classes you’re taking or even where you’ve lived, they probably share your feeling.

17. Do they try to initiate physical contact often?

This may be if they brush you in the halls even if there is a lot of space around them, or even if you accidentally bump into them or brush them, and they don’t move away.

Most of the time, these reasons mean that your crush is interested in you at the very least, but your gut instinct is right a lot more than what we give it credit for. There’s a reason your first answer on a test question is usually right. What do you really feel about your crush liking you, underneath all of that want? There’s your most probable answer.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube / Superwoman

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