I knew everyone in my high school. Their first names, last names, even the reputation they had. But everyone knew me, too. I went to a relatively small high school; my graduating class was somewhere around 66 students, so we all knew each other extremely well. I loved my small school experience; however, while there was comfort in knowing people on such a personal level, there were several aspects that made this less than ideal.
Most of the people I graduated with, I had known for at least five years: we had gone through elementary school and Jr. High together, and we’d be completing our high school career with each other as well. It’s pretty cool to say that you were friends with everyone in your class, but it’s not always all it’s cracked up to be.
Going to college (even a small college) was one of the best things that happened to me. Nobody knew me. No one had any preconceived expectations of my personality or my reputation. I could be anyone I wanted – I could be myself.
Attending a small high school meant having limited access to people, meaning there were only so many people you could be friends with. I loved the friend group I had going through school. We knew how to just hang out and enjoy each other’s company, but we also knew that we all loved to go on cool adventures. However, there was always a small part of me that felt like I didn’t belong with these people. I looked at them and looked at myself and just thought that I was so different from them. When I looked at all the other people in my class, though, I couldn’t picture myself fitting into any other group.
To this day, we are all still friends, and I love the rare occasions when we are all able to hang out and catch up. However, I think we’d all agree that one thing that makes college amazing is the chance you get to really choose your friends. You can be exactly who you are an you have the opportunity to observe the thousands of people you are surrounded by and become friends with the people who really get you, the ones you are most comfortable with.
As mentioned before, everyone in my high school knew each other. We knew what our peers were known for and our reputations. I didn’t have a problem with what my reputation was, per say, but I did struggle with all the expectations that my reputation set up for me. Teachers, staff, and even students expected me to act and be a certain way, and there was a certain apprehension that accompanied the pressure to maintain that reputation. It was almost like people were subconsciously encouraging people to stick to the status quo. I say “subconsciously,” because I didn’t even notice this issue of reputation and expectations until just after I graduated and set foot onto my college campus. On my first night of college, I realized that no one had any preconceived notions of who I am. They didn’t know the reputation I had in high school, and they probably didn’t even care. It was one of the most freeing experiences of my life knowing that I could reinvent myself. I was given a fresh start and could make a reputation for myself. I’d reinvent myself in such a way that I would be provided leeway, so that there was no pressure to live up to anything anyone expected of me.
My career in a small high school was an experience I will always hold on to. I learned many things about myself – who I want to be, what I want to be, and how I want others to perceive me. College is what has helped me put those things to work. I reinvented myself into a person that I believe I should be. It has been truly freeing.
