Usually when I tell people I'm from New Jersey, I get bombarded with a series of mindless questions:
"Is it true that you don't pump your own gas?"
"Do you guys really say 'New Joisey'?"
"What's your exit number?"
In the eyes of the rest of the world, we New Jerseyans seem to originate from some sort of extraterrestrial race.
However, not all of us are composed of fist-pumping guidos/guidettes who clearly can't handle their alcohol intake.
We're just New Jersyans. We eat, sleep, and drink a ton of Dunkin just like the rest of "yous."
Jersey Shore House- Seaside Heights, NJ
It recently has come to my attention that it been two years since I lived in the great Garden State, and I believe I'm starting to experience some sort of "Jersey withdraw".
I know. I sound absolutely insane.
Who could ever miss the state that gave birth to the notorious Jersey seven? In other words, Snooki, Vinny, Sammi Sweetheart, Jwow, Ron, Pauly D, and The Situation.
Even though the water in our shores are bluish-green and "The Sopranos" ended in 2007, there are still a ton of wonderful things that I left behind in New Jersey. Many of which I am going to attempt to identify while listening to Frank Sinatra and skimming through episodes of Cake Boss.
Seaside Heights, NJ
1. New Jersey bagels are the bomb.
In Jersey, we know that bagels are much more than a piece of bread with a hole in it. That's why there is no other place in the United States of America that can compete with our bagels. We have the best tasting and looking bagels in the nation.
2. Diners are better than any restaurant.
Where else can you get a coffee and a plate of disco fries at 3 A.M.?
We have 525 diners in the state of New Jersey. If you're ever lost just pull up Siri and ask for the nearest diner. They are everywhere and they serve EVERYTHING.
3. Dunkin is love, Dunkin is life.
The ratio of Dunkin Donuts to people in New Jersey almost exceeds our ratio of people to square mile.
In other words, Dunkin is a drug and it shall be taken 3 times a day.
4. Our style.
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5. Weekend trips to NYC.
You're turning 18? Let's go to the city.
Spongebob is on Broadway? Let's go to the city.
Harry Styles is on Good Morning America? Let's go to the city.
Want to go see the Rockefeller tree? Eh, I've seen it 1,000 times, but I guess.
Let's just say that we definitely utilize the fact that we live so close to one of the greatest cities in the world.
6. "Going down the shore."
The Jersey shore is where it's at. Where else can you find boardwalks that span up to 5.5 miles long?
7. Full-service gas stations.
I am so grateful that I never once had to get out of my car to pump my own gas. I just tell the nice man at the gas station that I want a '20 regular' and he takes care of the rest.
8. Our sense of humor.
Ever since I moved out of Jersey, I noticed that my 'outsider' friends didn't understand my jokes. We have this smart and snarky sense of humor that other people outside of Jersey will never comprehend.
9. Weird Weather.
In Jersey, the weather is like a game of dice. We never know what season we're going to get.
10. Cursing ALL THE TIME.
If I had a dollar for everytime someone says "mother fucker" in NJ, I'd be filthy rich. Cursing is just a part of our daily vocab. Outsiders just have to "fucking" deal with it.
So...
...maybe we are a separate breed of human beings.
What's so bad about that?
We're a state filled with diversity, long shorelines, and five-star diners.
We're a state packed with amazing people who, depending on their mood, can be both kind and hilariously unkind.
We may never admit it, but New Jersey raised us and there's no other place we'd rather be.
