When I thought of being a freshman at college as a ‘first,’ it always made sense to me. The first time I didn’t know anyone, the first time I didn’t know my teachers, the first time I had to find classrooms in multiple buildings, and so on. However, I never realized that along with the obvious ‘firsts’ came a world of first experiences that I never saw coming.
My first rejection
All throughout grade school and high school, I had been a strong leader and extremely active in my community. I had been on countless school organizations, and I even got into all eleven colleges to which I applied. I wanted to stay an active leader on campus, so I applied to an exclusive freshman service organization, and I was rejected. I had never felt such a devastating blow to morale, and I didn’t know how to handle getting rejected from such a huge passion of mine. It broke my heart, and it made me question who I was as a person.
My first time eating alone
In high school, if I chose to eat alone, it was because I was with a teacher or in a meeting; however, it seemed insane to me when I saw a person sitting alone at a table eating. During my first few weeks of college, when I found out my roommate had a class from 6-8pm twice a week, I started panicking about what to do for dinner. I was afraid people were staring at me and mocking me, and it took me a sufficient amount of time before I felt better about myself. Eating alone does NOT mean you are a loser or don’t have friends; all it means is that your friends have different schedules than you, or you are too busy to plan around your friends. It’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal.
My first time not having anyone
When looking at colleges, I did not care if other girls from my high school were interested in them, and I even preferred schools that only I had applied. I had dealt with plenty of experiences when I didn’t know anyone else, so I just assumed I would be fine. However, I did not realize how hard it would be. My closest friend is three hours away from me and nearly impossible to get to. One thing people don’t tell you is how much it hurts to see friends geographically closer to each other visit each other when you are too far away for anyone to reach.
My first time loving my classes
To be completely honest, my first few months socially at college were very difficult and not as fun as I thought. I had trouble hanging onto friendships, and friend groups were forming faster than I could keep up. On weekends when I didn’t have anyone to go out with, I stayed in and studied my ass off. I figured that I might as well get good grades if I didn’t have anything else better to do, and I fell in love with my classes. I am a journalism major, and every single day, regardless of the lectures, I came out of my communications classes with a smile on my face. If I didn’t have solid friends, at least I was lucky enough to receive some of the best education possible.
My first time not knowing
Obviously coming into college, there are a lot of things that nobody really knows. However, for me, my biggest ‘not knowing’ time pertained to my school itself. Yes, I loved my classes more than anything, but was I a right fit here? One of my biggest reasons for choosing my school was because I saw people who were similar to me, but I had trouble seeing that. I prayed each day I made the right choice, and for the first time, I did not know if I had failed on one of the biggest decisions of my life.
I have only been at school for a semester, and I am sure I have many more painful and thrilling ‘firsts’ to come. College is seriously so weird, and I'm okay that it has taken me awhile to adjust. My biggest advice? Keep an open mind; you never know how a college ‘first’ can change your life.
