It's always weird to come home after leaving for an extended period of time, especially if you left for college or something more permanent.
My first year after college being home was the strangest feeling, because I had been living on my own for a year, essentially. I was used to doing my own thing and not always checking in with my parents. It wasn't like in high school where I always texted them where I was going, when I got there, when I'd be home, etc. It's one of those things that can just never feel the same.
Now as I sit at home after my second year of college (third by credit hours), I still find it really weird to be "home." I'm an adult for all intents and purposes and have successfully taken care of myself for two years (except tuition; thank you Mom and Dad). This year, I took care of over 30 other people, and it's strange to be back with my parents.
After 18 years, it's very much ingrained in me to tell my parents where I'm going and what I'm doing. However, I'm not used to doing it anymore because it would be weird for me to text my mom telling her I'm going to Whataburger or to the gas station or to class. I just don't feel the need to tell my parents everything, though I do text them when I'm going someplace and let them know when I'm home. I'm not completely heartless.
Going home is never the same because you've had a taste of freedom, of adulthood, and now it's taken away, in a sense. If you go home home for a little bit, it feels strange. And it should!
After being away, you get used to doing things on your own. You're used to feeding yourself (often at the weirdest of hours), doing chores at your own rate, doing homework when you want to, going out without telling your parents, etc. And it's weird to come home and shift your thinking to something else.
But you shouldn't want to move back home either. All your old friends have started to move on or don't know you as well anymore (unless you all actively take the time to communicate). The town feels small and cramped because it's not like your campus and college town. While you know there are things to do here, it doesn't feel the same. You just yearn to be back at school.
For me, Reno will never really feel like home again because I no longer love it, and that's a big part in "home" not being home anymore. As you learn and grow, you feel an appreciation for where you grew up, but you don't really love it anymore. And it's OK to feel that way. It's OK to not feel at home while you're at home. You're growing up and that's just how life goes.
