Four strings, brown wooden curves, and a rich tone ruled my life for eight years. An extension of myself that I gave up for college. It pains me every day to see my violin sitting in solitude in its case, untouched by my rosin-coated bow. I always think back to the moment I sacrificed my passion for playing to make the transition to college easier, because as I look back on it, my decision made it even more difficult.
I discovered orchestra in the fifth grade when my music teacher took our class to watch the Dallas Symphony Orchestra perform the "Carnival of the Animals Suite" by Camille Saint Saëns.
Everyone spoke in hushed voices and whispers above the sounds of the symphony while I was dead silent. I focused on the violinist sitting in the first chair closest to the director, and I knew then and there that I wanted to play the violin. We went back to school, and I proceeded to do what a 10-year-old would do. I made a presentation, totaling over 40 slides, explaining at length each instrument in the full orchestra. I thought it would be the extent of my journey into the music world, but I was blessed to have met my future orchestra director directly after I made that slideshow worthy of a being presented in a college class.
She visited our elementary school and talked to our entire class, asking us questions on what we knew about orchestra. I, after becoming a self-made expert, raised my hand high as my small arm would let me, answering them with full pride and confidence. After her visit, the orchestra director pulled me aside to help carry the instruments used for her demonstration back to the bus. I was so excited to even touch the violin case, let alone the actual instrument. She told me that I should join the orchestra program at her school the following year, and I didn’t hesitate to fulfill her request.
I wish I could go back in time and tell my 10-year-old self how orchestra was going to making a lasting impact on me. The violin taught me not only how to master the instrument, but also how to master life. Like an artisan, it carefully crafted and chiseled my character. Through long, early morning rehearsals, my violin taught me about hard work leading to success. Playing two lines of music over and over again taught me that practice (after being told thousands of times) does, in fact, make perfect.
But now, without the constant repetition of playing melodies and going over notes in music, I feel a part of myself withering away.
I don’t know why I believed that giving up the violin during my freshman year of college would make the transition any easier. For eight years, it was part of me, my daily routine, my identity. I try to maintain this part of my life by attending symphony concerts on campus. But as I look on stage to the string section of the orchestra, I know that I should be up there, pressing my callused fingertips to the strings and staring at my music for so long that I forget to blink.
Living in the fine arts residential hall has inspired me to pick up my violin once in a while, strumming the strings and plucking out old songs that are engraved in my mind. Seeing people following their hearts and passions in theatre, music, and art gives me so much joy and inspiration to maintain my music background. I want to keep that same excitement and love for my instrument at the level I felt from the first day I learned about orchestra.
No one should ever give up their passion for the fear of new challenges ahead of them.
College has presented so many lessons to learn from, but none that measure to what I learned when I played the violin. It took a certain discipline practicing all those years, and it’s one that I miss every day and should have cherished more.
The violin gave me so much, and it’s time to give it the dedication and passion it granted me.
