Dear “Dad”,
Things have always been different then what it should be. Your are my biological dad by blood, but not the real man who stepped up to be a dad. My whole life our relationship was forced by grandma. I was always told that you never really were around and now I see it more then ever. Now, I can barely recall the last time I saw or talked to you. I’m have always just been a phone call or text away, but that seems to be too much for you to handle.
I don’t think you understand how badly you have hurt me over the years. Not because you and my mom didn’t work out, some people just aren’t meant to be together and that’s totally okay. But because you stopped putting in the effort to be my father. Your parents, have been there for me more then you ever have. I don’t think any girl, or grown woman, should feel this way.
I could never comprehend why you were never able to get your life together enough to be a real dad, or why I wasn’t important enough for you to provide for on your own . But that’s beside the point. What saddens me the most is when people ask me about my father, and I have to explain why you aren’t completely in my life. Then I get to say how great my step dad is when he stepped up to do your job. I don’t even know the answer, even though I’ve tried to wrap my brain around it a million different times. Yes, we live far away from each other, and you’re busy as am I, but how are any of those reasons justified in the slightest? It shouldn’t have hurt you just to call me, taken me out, come out of your way to come down and spend time with me without your mother forcing you to. It drives me insane that you It drives me crazy just thinking about how you don’t have a job yet still buy all this luxurious stuff for yourself, but you can’t help pay for my college tuition.
I wish I could say I didn’t care about any of this, but it’s hard when you always say how proud you are of me or how much you love me when you only see me once a year. I try to pretend that all of this isn’t a big deal or that it doesn’t bother me, way more then you think. But as the years have gone on, it has begun to tear me up more and more. I think it’s because I finally realize that I am not a priority in your life like I used to be. Although I wish I didn’t come from a broken home, it’s a part of who I am. It’s taught me to be independent and strong-- stronger than I ever thought I could be.
I honestly know if I will never ever forgive you. I want to, but I don’t know how I ever could. You’ve always said that you’ll make things better, but you’ve never really been good at keeping your promises. I wish I could depend on you, but I know I can’t.
Love,
“Your Brat”
