Living in an ever-expanding, little-big college town has its own set of opportunities, drawbacks, and etiquette… it evolves with the longevity of your tenure in town. The rule book was not printed out anywhere, but the anonymity granted to those in a larger city center does not exist in one of these smaller towns. There are two edges to the sword. The first edge being that sometimes the enthusiasm one feels for weeks will hit a downturn and the need to escape “Stepford” becomes real. The second edge is the bipolar feeling that sharpens the longer that I’ve lived here.

As of 2015, the city of South Bend, IN, had over 101,000 residents, and the neighboring city of Mishawaka, IN, had over 48,000 residents. There are many surrounding, smaller towns and zip codes that celebrate their own communities as well, but much of the action surrounding the colleges happens in these two cities. (In contrast, in 2015 Chicago had over 2.72 million residents.)

The city is small enough where, if you’re social, you’re really only about 1-3 steps away from the circle you’d need to meet or know for a business, artistic, political or another endeavor to gain some attention. This makes it a fantastic place to get projects off the ground and one’s voice heard. There’s a chance that if you go downtown and buy a drink in a bar with an upscale or hipster feel, someone will be able to tell you someone to talk to about your project or cause. If you are working on organizing an event, you’ll likely start having a conversation in a coffee shop or over a beer and you’ll be joined by those nearby interested or who have something to offer. Of course, it isn’t magic and it won’t work every single time, but being out in the community, you’ll find someone to take up your viewpoint or goal and build momentum towards finding the right people and places.

The downside? The same as the upside!

People are only steps away from knowing one’s business, and at times it can become that childhood game of “telephone." Telephone taught us that the original message and idea can get grotesquely twisted as it travels around a circle of people who are simply repeating what they heard to their neighbor. One person’s idea gets spread and it loses its original intent by the time it comes to fruition. Another person’s mistakes become part of a larger rhetoric when the other side isn’t even considered, and the public chooses their own form of justice. The drama can be as intense as the current Presidential election: “He said!” “But she said!” Finger pointing, and a harsh departure of ways. There are no finger snaps or jazz hands when it turns into a social Jets versus Sharks scenario.

Having had the majority of my friends move around the country (and some around the world), they tell me the solution is simple: move away. See other places! That not all places are like this place, and they mean that in the best way possible.Meaning that relocating involves a fresh batch of ideas, minds, perspectives, institutions, relationships and opportunities.

I’ll most certainly end up leaving after putting in nearly 30 years in one community, but I can’t help but realize the opportunities I’ve had because I’ve had so long to get to know people and put work into relationships. Having the sort of place where you can run into a brewery with the mentality that life has been a little extra crazy, where the owner will gift you a proverbial cup of sugar in the form of a pint in exchange for simply putting on a brave face and coming out.