Never Give Up On Someone You Love

Never Give Up On Someone You Love

They are worth the fight 100% of the time.
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Relationships aren’t perfect; if anyone tries to tell you otherwise they’re wrong. They’re hard work, they’re putting someone else before you, and at times they’re downright painful. Relationships aren’t easy, but when you find the right person, damnit, they’re worth it.

You know the person I’m talking about. The person who knows you better than yourself. The person you can lay around with all day and still have the time of your life. The person who always listens to you cry when you’re upset even when you know you’re overreacting. The person who is there for you when no one else is. The person you’re thinking about right now.

Nothing in life worth having comes easy, and that includes relationships. The honeymoon phase will fade someday even if it seems like it never will. You will fight. There will be nights you cry yourself to sleep and wonder if it’s all worth it. But I promise you, it is.

When you find your person, never let them go. When things get tough, whatever you do do not take the easy way out and leave. Because I guarantee you’ll lie awake at 3 a.m. with tears streaming down your face wishing you could take it all back. I was lucky enough to get a second chance, but not everyone is so lucky.

Every relationship will go through hardships; there is no getting around that. You’re going to hurt them and they’re going to hurt you. But what you don’t do is give up. If you truly love someone, fighting to make things work is going to be worth every late night talk and every tear you shed. Instead of focusing on the bad it’s important to focus on the good because one bad moment is not worth leaving behind a lifetime of good.

Every day that I wake up I’m thankful to have my person in my life. I quite honestly don’t know what I would do without them. They are the first person I go to when I get good news, they are the first person I turn to for comfort, and they are my biggest supporter. Most importantly, they are my best friend.

I know most people will tell me I’m young and I don’t know what love is, but I’m a firm believer that you do not need to be a certain age to be in love. Whether you are 18, 28, or 88, when you find that person you’ll know. And when you know, don’t ever let them go.

“Love suffers long and is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Cover Image Credit: Mia McLaughlin

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An Open Letter to the Guy I'm Finally Getting Over

I think I'm ready to listen to the happy Taylor Swift songs again.
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I remember when all of this started. I couldn't have predicted you if I'd tried. I was so focused on myself that it took me a while to even admit I was interested in you. You were the one I didn't see coming, and then before long, you were the one I couldn't imagine leaving.

I'll be honest. I lied to myself and to everyone else for a long time. “We aren't anything serious," I'd say. “I'm just having fun." How stupid was I to think that I could resist getting caught up in you? Those months that we spent together were some of the best of my life. I didn't think it was possible for a someone to make me laugh like you did, to make me feel the way you did. You brought out a side of me I had never seen before, and even though that scared me, I didn't want it stop.

You had me so fooled.

One day, just like that, you were gone, and before I knew it I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. I couldn't imagine how someone I had given so much to could just leave like that and not even look back. The months after that was a string of waking up and losing you all over again, telling my friends I was fine one second and crying to them the next. And the second I started thinking I was okay, I saw you again. We talked, I cried, I yelled, you cried, you yelled, and for a couple weeks I pretended that everything would be okay, and you really meant it this time and we would make it. But just like before, it wasn't real.

Realizing that took me longer than I'd like to admit, but this is what I need you to know: I'm moving on. Finally, after months of dialing your number just to talk myself out of it, I can say that I'm moving on. I won't listen to sad songs anymore. I won't look at our pictures and re-live the days we spent together. I'm erasing every trace of you. I'm smiling brighter, I'm laughing louder, and if it's the last thing I do, I swear I'll find something that's better than what we had.

That's not to say that your memory won't knock the breath out of me on a Tuesday afternoon when our song comes through my headphones. That's not to say that I won't remember the promises you made me and want to scream at myself for ever believing you. But the difference is that I'll recognize the pain in those memories, and then I'll set them down and walk away. Because I'm done carrying them with me and I'm done giving you that power over me.

So don't call me up someday when I've finally forgotten your laugh; don't think about me at all if you can help it. You lost that right when you made the choices you did. This isn't some stupid love story we'll tell later down the road about how we beat the odds and came through stronger on the other side. This is done, do you understand? I'm finally done.

Years from now I'll look back on the adventures we had and laugh at how crazy we were. I'll remember the fierce happiness I felt while we were running wild together and I'll be grateful for this because it has molded me in ways I can't begin to explain. Someday I'll tell my daughter about you and pray that she learns from my mistakes, and when that day comes I'll wonder where you are and genuinely wish you the kind of happiness that I will have found.

I know you'll never read this. But I'll read this, on those nights when it feels like everything is starting to fall apart. Again and again and again, I'll read this and remind myself of the promise I'm making at this very moment, to look forward and stop letting your memory dictate my happiness. Someone wise once said, “Suddenly you'll just know, that it's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings." Well I'm trusting that this was just one short chapter of my book, and this is me turning the page.

Onto the next.

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I Was Sick Of The Dating Scene, So I Started Dating The One Person Who'll Always Be There: Myself

I am fully capable of loving myself in all the right ways.

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It's no secret that dating these days is next to impossible. There are so many rules and to-dos and not-to-dos and never-EVER-dos. You have to play the game without being a player and always be three steps ahead while simultaneously falling back, so the person you're into won't know that you're into them.

A headache is what it is.

After getting out of a long-term relationship and being thrown back into the "dating scene" (if you could even call it that), I was totally blindsided and quickly overwhelmed by how messy it was.

After many failed attempts at finding love that only ended in frustration and bewilderment, I decided it was time to do something. I decided I would date myself.

I know, it sounds ridiculous and a little confusing... OK, maybe a lot confusing.

And trust me, it felt even weirder. But I powered through, and I honestly grew so much from my time with myself.

I started out simple. I went to the mall to window shop and treat myself to some Chinese food. It wasn't super weird during the window shopping part because I've frequented malls on my own in the past. After about an hour, I decided to head to the food court. I fought the urge to scroll through my Instagram feed or call a friend because I would never do that on an actual date, and I had to get it into my head that that's what this was.

I got my food (bourbon chicken with the fried rice and green beans, for those of you that were wondering) and I located a vacant table. I sat down, painfully aware of how alone I was and started eating. Slowly, I stopped judging myself by every person's glance my way. It became less weird. And on the drive home, I actually thought to myself how enjoyable the time I spent alone was.

I was ready for things to get a little more serious.

For my next date, I took myself to one of my favorite places in the world: Spruce Street Harbor Park.

Now, at first, I was kind of nervous to do this. A young girl, alone in the city at night. But I swallowed my fears and realized that many people were alone in cities bigger than this all the time. So I paid the parking fare and ventured into my night.

It could not have been more perfect! The weather, the atmosphere, the sights and the food. My favorite place in the world became so much more special to me because for the first time, I wasn't distracted by anything else. I wasn't trying to keep up a witty banter or impress anyone.

Instead, I walked around and took everything in. I developed a new appreciation for not only the views but for myself.

While at first this little experiment of mine had seemed daunting and unsettling, I was now starting to look forward to my dates.

For my third date, I decided to take myself to the movies. This was probably the roughest situation for me. Everyone goes to the movies with someone, it's scientifically proven (I mean, not really, but it's a known fact). But I powered through.

I walked in and purchased my singular ticket, then proceeded to my seat. I got settled in with a Sprite (I had eaten before I came and I'm not really a fan of popcorn) and kicked back. I felt super self-conscious throughout the previews, as everyone else came in pairs or groups or families. I kept my eyes fixated on the screen, and (surprise, surprise) no one gave me a second look.

As the movie began, I got into it like I would any other time in the theater. By the time it was over, I had almost forgotten that I was alone. Even more than that, the word didn't seem to weigh me down anymore.

On my journey home that night, I reflected on what I had learned in the past week. I'd proved to myself how easy dating can be... when done the right way. I also learned that I don't need a relationship to be happy.

I am fully capable of loving myself in all the right ways.

In fact, it's something I want to continue and plan to make a weekly event of.

Dating doesn't have to be complicated, and being alone doesn't have to be so taboo.

There is power in being your own person, and there's even more power in loving that person the way you deserve.

Cover Image Credit:

https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1361955

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