To all those individuals who have suffered from emotionally manipulative and abusive relationships I want you to know to never regret and to always grow.
Emotional abuse is tricky, confusing and often very hard to realize and even get out of. It comes from family members, significant others, friends and just the people around you. It’s difficult to accept and recognize emotional abuse because often times it is from the people who we think love and care about us the most.
However, it is never okay to let someone bring you down in any regard, especially when it is not constructive and brings down your self-worth, self-image and self-esteem.
As someone who has experienced emotional abuse on many levels, some more intense than others, here are the lessons I have to share. Whether these lessons are for you, to help someone, or just simply to know, I hope you take away something valuable from what I have to say.
1. You are worth more than the pain that person caused you. Speak up and tell your story because you, my friend, are the one in control.
My analogy for emotional abuse is like harboring wasps inside yourself. Each wasp a different pain, saying, or word that has caused you to doubt yourself and bring yourself down. The more you keep the wasps in, the more they hurt you. However, you are the only one who can let them go. The more you speak up, the less pain you have because you control what causes you pain, not the person who told you otherwise.
2. Stand tall and don't be afraid to love again and be yourself again.
Don’t be afraid to be who you are again. If you lost pieces of yourself, regain them in an even stronger glory. Let those parts of your personality shine even brighter than before.
Know that being who you are will lead to self love and the love of those who truly appreciate every aspect of you.3. Even if you have been kicked down to the point where you look in the mirror and don't even recognize yourself, know this! You'll come back through patience and perseverance.
There are people in your life who are here to help you recover and be at peace with yourself. Your friends and family are here to help you glue yourself back together. If you cannot find solace there are still options such as CAPS and confiding in a therapist.
Always know that there is help as long as you seek it.4. You'll grow to be so strong and vibrant that everyone around you will be your mirror, because you reflect yourself so beautifully.
If you can find it in yourself to start making a change, you will see it. Even simply thinking about change it is a step toward coming to terms with emotional abuse and getting better. You should never hear the words, “Get over it,” from anyone who is here to support you because you need love, empathy and courage for this journey.
