Poetry About Breakups

Poetry On Odyssey: Never Enough

If we just let go of our pain, will we be enough for ourselves?

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I thought maybe - just maybe - if I wrote this all down, I would feel better. It's been 5 months since we broke up. It wasn't Earth shattering. My life didn't stop because of it… it's just the hardest adjustment I have ever had to make. See, add a year to each of those months and that gives an adequate time frame of how much of my personal time and energy was given to this human.

I want to believe that this was not all in vain, and that those first 2 years were really good so it was worth it… until they started lying, until they started cheating, until they stopped giving a shit about me - but that's too optimistic of me and the situation.

Why would they stay? Why stay with someone they clearly don't care about? Why would anyone want to make someone deliberately go through this? Isn't growing up traumatic enough?

It's been 5 months… and it still feels like yesterday. It's been 5 months, but every time there's reminiscing or conversation about anything - they're at the forefront of my mind.

Like most teens - I struggled with self-worth. It took my first love dying for me to even verbalize that I didn't feel worthy of being loved. It's been more than a decade since I've felt like that.

Every day I get closer to 30, and believe me - I'm not trying to run off into the sunset with anyone, I just don't want to feel like this anymore. Or maybe I just don't want to deal with this anymore.

So here's to letting go - or at least another part of its grief.

5 months

Feels like 5 tons

Packed tightly against

Shoulder blades.

Barbed wire wrapping

Itself neatly against my breast.

I am ok.

Tight-roping through

Every episode

Of desperation

And despair.

Feeling not

Enough.

Worthless.

As if

Endless tossing

Wasn't adequate.

As if

Empty bed sheets

Wasn't sufficient.

As if

I…

Wasn't ample enough.

Still unsure

How it ended up

Here.

Another blood

Stained tear

Pooling at my feet.

5 months

Feels like too long

To so easily

Forget

5 years…

Wasted.

Lilies dance

In memories

In laughter

In brief bursts of

Happiness.

We were happy,

I think.

It's so hard

To distinguish

Between happiness

And the lies.

The cheating

Scraping

Daggers

Along already

Torn heart pieces.

I am damaged.

Perhaps now a little bitter

And annoyed.

Bias

To say the least.

Speak

And my heart

Assumes bullshit.

Come closer

And I've already leaped

Bounds away.

I can't fathom

How to let anyone in –

Tattered sheets.

No longer is my skin

Laundered.

No matter what,

I am not the same.

What has been

And what will always be

Still somehow

Remains at eye-level.

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10 Things You'll Recognize If You Grew Up In A Small Town

Those stop signs were more like suggestions.
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Whether you're from the Northwest or Southeast, all small towns share basically the same characteristics.

From hanging out at car washes to eating endless meals at that Mexican restaurant, if you're from a small town, you'll probably relate to one (if not all) of these things:

1. Yes, that Mexican restaurant.

Whether you came here to eat after ball games or simply came because there was nothing better to do, you probably spent way to much money on burritos and cheese dip. (For real though, cheese dip was so worth that extra $3).

2. Churches. Churches everywhere.

There seemed to be more churches than people, and everywhere you went one of them was staring you in the face. At least you knew that the whole town was covered on seats when it came to Sunday services.

3. Yep, you hung out at the car wash.

For some odd reason, teenagers like to hang out at the car wash. We don't know why we did, we just did. No car every got cleaned. We just sat on our hoods or tailgates and talked or listened the music. What a wild night.

4. Quick stops.

Gas stations were called quick stops and thank God for those quick stops. You could fill up your tank and get a snack without having to drive 30 minutes to the nearest city. Plus their boiled peanuts were always the bomb. #blessed

5. "Stop" signs.

Those stop signs were more like suggestions. No cop, no stop, right? Same thing with speed limits - merely suggestions.

6. The football field.

Fall Friday nights were made for football games, and there was no getting out of it. Do any of you small town girls really remember going on a Friday night date? Yeah, me neither. Football games were the closest you were going to get to a date on Fridays. You either waited for Saturday or the end of the season. Honestly though, those Friday nights hold some of you and your friends' favorite memories.

7. The good ole grocery store.

Sorry bud, Walmart, Costo, and Kroger were 30 minutes away, and driving to the city was not about to happen. You either went to Shop and Save or Piggly Wiggly for your groceries.

8. "The park."

You either played as a kid, coached a peewee team, refereed as a teenager, or simply watched your siblings play here. No matter the case, you've been to the park, and you're lying if you say you haven't.

9. Those white welcome signs.

Literal *cringe* just looking at it. Passing this sign after coming home from the city meant you were once again stuck in this little town with nothing to do, but you honestly kind of love having nothing to do sometimes.

10. This view.

Sure, there's not a whole lot going on in your small town, but with views like this you can't complain. #NatureIsCool #SoAreSmallTowns

Cover Image Credit: Myself

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12 Ways To Save Money During The Summer When All You Want Is To Spend It

Saving is important year round, but it's most important in the summer

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Over the summer, everyone normally has more free time than during the year, and that means more time to spend more money. Saving money over the summer is important, not only so you can be prepared to pay for things in the future, but also so you can enjoy your summer and no be stressed about how much money you've spent. Saving money is something that should happen year round, but it's especially important to do in the summer.

1. Create a budget

Starting the summer off on the right foot is super important to stay on track throughout the rest of the summer. A budget is something that you should have year round, but it's important to adjust it for your summer plans.

2. And stick to it

Not only do you have to make a budget, but you have to stick to it. If you don't follow your budget, you're wasting time and money, and it's hard to keep on top of finances.

3. Take advantage of student discounts

During the summer, college students find themselves with a lot more free time than in the school year. When you're planning what to do with your extra time, make sure to look if the place offers student discounts or not. Why pay full price when you don't have to?

4. Don't always go out to eat

College students tend to spend time with their friends going out for food or for drinks, and that adds up fast. If you have friends over to cook dinner, it can be healthier and cheaper to do.

5. Sublet

If you have an apartment you're not going to be staying in, or need to stay in Columbus, it's beneficial both ways to sublet. Neither way do you have to pay full price on an apartment, and any discount, no matter how small, saves you money

6. Take day trips

Obviously, no one wants to stay in one place the whole summer, but travel is super expensive. By going on day trips you get to see more of the state or city, but you don't have to pay for lodging overnight. It's a good way to get out without eating into your budget.

7. Walk around

Columbus has great parks and trails that not enough people think about using when they're planning what they want to do. If you walk around outside, you can spend as much time you want there and you don't have to pay anything.

8. Split costs with friend

Do both of you need a Hulu and a Netflix account? Why not share the costs and the passwords with each other, so that you both can save some extra cash in the future. This doesn't just have to be with streaming services, but it can apply to food and parking costs as well.

9. Don't impulsively buy big items

Maybe you've worked a ton recently to start saving for summer, or you have graduation money flowing in. You feel like it doesn't matter how much you spend, but it does. If you hold off on those purchases, and you save your money, you'll be in a better spot financially at the end of the summer.

10. Get a job

The obvious one. If you're doing an unpaid internship or your normal job isn't offering you many hours, then getting a second job where you can work to have a little more money can help you achieve your savings goal.

11. Don't be too hard on yourself

The hardest part of setting goals is when you don't achieve them. Even if you haven't saved exactly as much as you wanted, making even a small change can help your financial wellbeing and can be enough to make small changes in the future.

12. Don't force yourself to make big changes

Everyone's saving tips to Millennials are to stop getting coffee every single day from places like Starbucks. While cutting down on spending in these ways will greatly help you save money, it's not the only thing that will help. There's no reason to make yourself miserable in order to follow the rules of someone else for a small change financially.

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