For the past couple of weeks since the semester has started, I started watching a lot of shows that have to do with psychopaths, serial killers, and stalkers. I mean, I never really minded watching the shows before (if the shows just so happened to be on while I was watching cable, I wouldn't change the channel). But what really made me interested in these shows recently though was that I really really wanted to understand why exactly people act the way that they do. I mean, isn't that why most people like psychology? They enjoy not justifying people's actions but trying to understand people's actions through psychoanalyzation.

So I started by watching, "YOU," on Netflix. I initially started watching this because of people on one of the subreddits I'm subscribed to were talking about it, so I thought I'd give it a try. I watched the first episode and I was IMMEDIATELY hooked. It was amazing because you actually got to see Joe's internal justifications for stalking Beck and (spoiler alert!) killing some of the people she was close to in her life. It really made me wonder if real stalkers thought like that or if that was just an exaggeration of what people presumed stalkers to think like.

Next, I watched the Ted Bundy documentary on Netflix, which I thought was just as good. They provided a narrative and actual footage of victims, survivors, and recordings from the serial killer himself. But what was so cool about it, was that there were real psychologists that explained his actions and tried to give viewers insight as to why he might have done what he did through childhood traumas and behavioral problems.

While I was watching these two shows, I remember telling my best friend that I truly felt bad for both Joe and Bundy. It was because I really understood what led them to their actions and I pitied them. But my best friend, who's a Psychology and Genetics double major, explained to me that what I felt wasn't sympathy; it was empathy. I was able to understand their feelings and/or actions, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they should be pitied because they were screwed up people. Because if you pity someone, that means that you, to an extent, forgive them.. and actions like killing, raping, kidnapping, and stalking (among others) are unforgivable.

It was something that I had to stop and realize because so many people mix up sympathy and empathy. And I've been seeing this on social media a lot in regards to these two shows. All over Twitter and Instagram, there are girls calling Ted Bundy "handsome devil" and romanticizing Joe's stalker behavior towards Beck. Because, while yes, you can comment on someone's physical appearance or be appreciative of the idea of loving someone so much, that you'd do anything for them, you can't truly justify their actions because of it. I think we all need to remember, while watching these shows, that people like this are actually dangerous. And it's the reason why a lot of people don't see red flags in relationships and friendships.

I think it's important to note that this, of course, isn't the first time I'm seeing things like this in popular culture. I mean, there are so many other shows and movies with problematic characters, and people REALLY romanticize them. I'm not sure if it's because some people have these "fixing" complexes where they are desperate to get close to someone, just to fix them (now I'm the one psychoanalyzing), or if there's a sort of weird fetish or infatuation to someone who's dark and twisted.

Nevertheless, this infatuation with stalkers and serial killers needs to stop. It's not cute... it's actually really disturbing.