As promised, I'm previewing the first installment of my Valentine's Day series: Lovers and Friends, Volume 1: Netflix and Chill — Tale-tell Signs That You Are the Other Woman. I would like to preface this article with my disclaimer: Please be advised that any information in this article may or may not be accurate or inaccurate, fair or unfair, misleading or correct, intentionally or unintentionally specified for you. Some, all or no aspects are based on actual events. If you believe that this will be harmful to your ego, please discontinue use. I am just teh messenger. - TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw

Now if you visited my blog then you already know at least one thing about me, and that is that I can't stand a #SideChick. But I'm not just talking about any sidechick. I'm talking about the brazen ones. You know: the ones that know about you but will still swear that she's bad enough to take your man. There is a specific name for this type of chick. Thot is what I believe the kids are calling them these days...

There is another kind of sidechick as well, and I'll go easy for the simple fact that this chick truly has no clue that you have a girlfriend. Or does she?

May I be honest for a minute? The truth is even this chick knows she's a sidechick. How do I know, you ask? Because I've been this chick before. We all have. Some of you still are, (emphasis on you). Because to set the record straight, he is my man (emphasis on is). So in case he hasn't served you with your walking papers or given you an explanation of cancellation, then please consider this your 2-week notice. **Sidebar: "Walking papers" is a figure of speech and no I was not referring to divorce papers. I don't involve myself with married men. End sidebar.**

In case you are in a relationship or have been "messing around" and you are wondering where you rank, pay attention to the list below. Be mindful that this is not an all-inclusive list of #SideChickTreatment nor does it ascertain that you are a sidechick if you have experienced one or two of the symptoms below (occasionally). This list is to put you up on game and give you some warning signs that may suggest that your man may not be as faithful as you think he is using a simple "If ... then" formula.

1. If you don't talk to him every day.

Then you might be a sidechick. It should go without saying that if your man doesn't call and check on you at least once during the day to hear your voice, to see how your day is going, to tell you that he was just thinking about you, then he really ain't ya man. Ain't nobody that busy. #Truth

2. If you're scared to call him because you already know he's not going to answer.

Then you might be a sidechick. I've been there. You want to talk to him, but you called him last and if you call again and he doesn't answer, then you gonna look thirsty or bat $#!^ crazy. This behavior is no good in a relationship. You should feel comfortable enough with your man to call him at any given time, for any given reason and trust that if he doesn't answer, it's because in this case, he really is busy, but as soon as he's done handling business he's gonna make the hotline blink. An even better sign is when he answers the phone or immediately sends a text with, "I'm not ignoring you, baby, but I'll call you when I'm done..." and then makes good on his word. #Winning

3. If you call or text him at seven p.m. and don't get a response back until 12 noon the next day.

Then you might be a sidechick. See, this is because he's just got done with his main chick, either on the phone all night with her or he was on the Netflix-N-Chill all night (with her). If this behavior consists of an entire weekend, then it's most likely because he was ... occupied (with her).

4. If he's available to text, but not available to talk.

Then you might be a sidechick. I actually had an ex-boyfriend tell me this and I didn't realize that he was doing it to me until about one year in to our relationship. We could go back and forth instantaneously via text message, but if I wanted to call and have a conversation about the last message sent, then I'd get sent to voicemail. You can also tell by the language in the text. If the messages are short, abbreviated and misspelled, then he's probably texting you before his #MainChick comes back in the room. Or if there are extended pauses between texts, then that's because he's texting you behind her back so that it's not obvious that he's engaging in another conversation. And then, if you ever get that random text that makes no sense, it's because he inadvertently replied to you when he meant to text her. #FoodForThought

5. If you're not allowed to post with him or about him on Social Media.

Then ... #UKnwTheRest, you most certainly are, perhaps one of many #Sidechicks. This is just what I've found to be true in my observations as well as personal experience. If you have to take a picture of a picture of the two of you together (from once upon a time), or if the only pictures you have of him are out of focus or where he's looking like he's caught off guard, or an otherwise obstructed view, then that's because you already know that he'd check you real quick if he found out that you posted it. And if you had to take it down after not even 24 hrs because it got back to the #MainChick, then yes, #YouAreTheSideChick. True story: when me and my man first got together (over a year ago), we mutually decided that we would bypass the social media campaign. Reason being, because I know that I have him. Furthermore, he knows what he has in me. We may or may not be "friends on FB" because we are more than just "friends." Moreover, I don't need you in my business. But suffice it to say, that we are happy and we are together.

6. If you're worried about what he's doing when he comes to the A.

Then you might be a sidechick. See, when you have two people who've reached a certain level of maturity, there's really no reason to be concerned with the amount of miles that separate you. I have always said that, "If I can't trust you, then I don't need to be with you." And that's across the board, regardless to whether we live in the same city or not. So don't call my phone acting like you dialed the wrong number because when he calls and asks you about it, #MainChick might be on the other line listening to your lies and verifying that he has told you that she is the #OnlyChick and that you need to move on. You see when he's truly your man, he'll go to great lengths to make you feel secure. #SideChickShenanigans

7. If he doesn't take you out in public.

Then you might be a sidechick. I'm not talking about you riding in the car with him in the daytime. I mean, like, you can actually walk in Wal-Mart with him in the daytime. If he's not willing to chance someone he knows seeing the two of you together in a place that he frequents, then that's because he doesn't want anyone to know about you. When he's your man, he'll want to show you off to the world. You'll be the Kim Kardashian to his Kanye West. #Trophy

8. If you've been with him for more than a year and his close friends and family don't know you are his girlfriend.

Then, that's because you're not. Period.

9. If his idea of dinner and a movie equates to Netflix and Chill.

Then you might be a sidechick. Now don't get me wrong, I love a good Netflix and Chill myself, but if that's all you do together, then you're probably more of a pastime, not a future. If he's not spending money on you, giving you money, sending you flowers for no reason, buying you gifts on his birthday or just because, then he's not invested (or investing) in you.

Now if this list was not sufficient enough, then let me bring it home for you. The truth is, if you're honest with yourself, then I didn't make any revelations for you that you didn't already know. However I will leave you with the last tip that will tell you almost assuredly if you are the sidechick. You ready? (Insert Dramatic pause)

10. If in about 11 days, you don't hear from, have plans with or see him on February 14...

(Not the Friday before as Friday will be National SideChick Day around the world, as Saturday and Sunday (and Monday in my case) will be reserved for the #OnlyChick...)

Then consider yourself a sidechick, because that's Valentine's Day, boo! #SideChickTreatment

So in the end, the lesson is this: if there is another woman involved, then you've already lost. The goal is not to be a #SideChick or even a #MainChick but the #OnlyChick.

Visit my blog! #TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw